[lostsoul]

Here is a funny one.


This one happened to me right after my first divorce. I was bar hoping alot and hoggin every fat chick in sight. I had hooked up wth this bar [censored]. There was nothing good about her. We went out to here explorer in the back of the parking lot. I told her i wanted to get some head from her before I went home for the night. She said Why don't I come home with her and I could get alot more then head. I said no thanks that a blow job would be about all I could handle that night. PLus I didn't want anything more from here. She finally agrees I unbutton my pants and she goes to work. She isn't very good at it all. So I start to direct her with my hands and guide her head around.So was only going down on my dick alittle bit so everytime I would push alittle harder trying to get more of my [censored] in her mouth. I was caling her a dirty whore, and my personnel cum [censored]. I am finally getting to the point of no return and I jam her face even harder. I hear her gagging alittle bit, but I didn't care I was almost there. So I don't let her up. after about another sec of that I blow my load in her mouth and then she puked in my lap. I mean that nasty been drinkin beer all day smelling puke also. I about puked when I smelled it. She pulls up laughing at me. I chuckle to. What else can u do. I got up when over to my truck went over to the passenger side and took my pants off and threw them in the bed. I climbed in through the passenger side door and drove home. On the way home I got pulled over. Sitting there in nothing but a t-shirt and boxers the cop asked me if I had been drinking. I said yes and he asked me why I didn't have any pants on. I told him a woman got sick on them and they are in the bed if he wants to look. He leans over the bed and shines he light in there. I guess he got a wif of them because he pulled his head back pretty fast. He asks me if I wave all the soberity test and asks me to just take the breathelazer so I don't have to get out of the car. I had no problem with that I had maybe two beers in three hours. I apssed he chuckled at me and told me to have a good night.

The messed up part is two months later we were doing a raid at a house looking for a guy and needed a couple of uniform's to back us up and he was one of them. He realized who I was really fast. Everyone got a good laugh out of it.