Re: Ask Anacardo anything
From the ladies thread, Cardo said:
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I'm exactly what you're talking about. That's well known. And I don't like it. I've gone from grief to depression to toying-with-madness to, now, a fairly steady state of resentment, jealousy, bitterness, frustration and anger. I can think back on times when I felt far worse, but was still on some level secure in my own.. virtue, I guess, and proud of myself for it. I used to think of myself as things like: patient, kind, generous-spirited, always ready to help somebody out of a jam or do a good turn. Now I feel like those qualities erode more every day. Every pretty, flirty girl who turns out to have a steady boyfriend; every story of somebody else's idiot lover forgiven, everything that reminds me of my own loneliness, all just makes me madder and madder and madder. I really don't know how to deal with it. I just try to be mindful of it, and treat it like a concussion, or some other sort of head trauma; remember you're impaired, take it easy, and don't do anything stupid. But it doesn't go away, and every day it grows is probably driving solutions further and further away. What can you do?
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Cardo, What are you grateful for?
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