Re: Pregnant GF
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You make it sound like the only voluntary participant during sex is the man and the woman is just "keeping him happy".
1. Both parties are equally responsible for birth control.
2. Both parties should be equally responsible for the decision to have children or abort.
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Not at all. You read quite a bit into my statement that was not there. Sex should be fun for both participants...and both participants bear responsibility for the consequences.
The statement "both parties are equally responsible for birth control" statement is meaningless. Birth control is not a "responsibility". It is a privilege. We are lucky to live in a time and a part of the world where we can have lots and lots (and lots!) of sex and prevent babies...most of the time.
I would change statement 1 to: "Both parties are equally responsible for the results of having sex." The man is not "equally responsible" for birth control. However, since he IS equally responsible for a baby, should one result, it is certainly in his best interest not to assume the woman is taking care of the birth control.
Item 2 is ludicrous. Why should the man get to decide whether a woman has an abortion? Keep in mind, we are still talking about a medical procedure, with all the attendant risks. If item 2 were somehow enacted into law, and she doesn't want one and he forces her to have one, can she sue him if there are complications? What if she can't handle the guilt and requires years of therapy? Is he liable? Suppose he forces her to HAVE the baby when she wants an abortion. If she is a supermodel, can she sue him for loss of income during the pregnancy? If she gets post-partum depression and kills herself, can her family seek reparations from him? Or perhaps he should just outright pay her for the service of incubating his baby?
Really, if I were a man, I would not WANT to be responsible for the decision of whether the prospective mother of my child has an abortion. Adoption is a more complicated issue, so I'll ignore it for now.
Edit: OP, I'm sorry that I've been debating peripheral issues. You are in a difficult place, and I understand your panic and fear. Try to talk this out with your girlfriend. It would be sad to lose someone you love enough to marry because she is giving birth to your child. You may feel differently once you get used to the idea. Good luck to you and her.
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