[keikiwai]

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I understand the need to set a mood for those who are still single,

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i'd suggest setting the mood is even more important for those of us who are married / in long term relationships

try playing some moood music and starting with a massage
with scented oils or something hoaky like that

i think you'll be pleasantly surprised

when you first bang someone, the novelty of the encounter heat thinggs up... but if you're in a relationship, sometimes it helps to go out of your way and do something like play mood music or whatever.. imo