Re: Hitting on visitors
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"he told me he was firmly committed to not hitting her himself."
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That's good news. I'm against violence and I don't think inviting her over just to slap her around would have been very appropriate at all.
I think before you make any moves on her at all you have to approach the other guy and make absolutely sure he wasn't intending to do the same thing.
Sounds like you pretty much did that when you said you were interested in her.
But this could have been after you already had been talking to her for a long time and kind of stolen her away leaving him sulking and stewing and getting really pissed that you were stepping all over whatever chance he had with this girl first.
His 'meh, whatever' response which evidently was supposed to mean "don't do it dude" might have been somehow related to something like this and he's just trying his darndest to not be too whiny about it while also feeling a little bit kicked in the stomach.
Something like that anyway could be a possibility.
But if he isn't going to be straight-forward with you about his intentions it's kind of hard for you to play mind-reader.
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