[madnak]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm clearly not saying she owes him money. What I am saying is that he worked while she went to school. What he did by doing so was to make an investment in the couple's financial future. It's clear he viewed it that way, and I'd guess they probably discussed it.

[/ QUOTE ]

This wasn't my interpretation. I did miss the edit on Katy's post, so I was a bit confused. If they made an explicit agreement, that obviously changes things a bit. At the same time, I don't think such an agreement qualifies as a strict obligation on her part to go into corporate law.

[ QUOTE ]
We're not talking about a basketweaving class at the local community college that she's taking for fun. We're talking about 2-3 years and a buttload of money (I think the average is like $80k!)

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe it's the fact I plan on med school, but that just seems small to me. I understand that most people don't even make half that much in a year, but again this is a two-income couple (and she has a JD, she can't exactly be on the poverty line). They can't handle $80k in student loans?

[ QUOTE ]
and him taking care of domestic things and not seeing her while she attends class,

[/ QUOTE ]

This seems particularly hollow. He wants her to be an ambitious corporate lawyer. That's part of the issue - it sounds like his desire is to see money, not her. From what I've heard 80+ hours per week is no exaggeration here.

[ QUOTE ]
does homework, etc. This is similar to him taking the $80k and saying he's going to invest it in something for the couple's retirement, but instead she goes on an $80k shopping spree because that's what makes her happy.

[/ QUOTE ]

It sounds more like she put it into a long-term low-yield plan when he expected her to play the market.

[ QUOTE ]
Also, I'm still of the belief that she's making a choice based mostly on fear. Katy's description of her makes me think she really lacks self confidence and is taking the easy way out. Perhaps if they talked this through and he showed his support for her and confidence in her, he could show her that she can do the tougher job. It might lead to a lot of good things for her beyond just career issues.

[/ QUOTE ]

That doesn't sound unlikely, but I don't think it changes the nature of the situation much.