[katyseagull]

Diebitter wrote:

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And Katy, while I know you have a good heart and probably will try not to, there's never, ever, EVER a good time to take sides in a couple's problems. Offer sympathy, comfort and kind words, but NEVER take sides or say a bad thing about one to the other. This can only lead to one, other or both resenting you in the end at some point.

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odellthurman wrote:
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No offense to the OP, but I believe there are serious communication problems in this marriage if the OP is so heavily involved in the discussion.


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Db and Odellthurman (that name cracks me up for some reason),

Let me assure you I am not heavily involved in their private discussions at all. I sit at my desk all day and people like to come and vent their problems to me. I’m like the resident bartender or something. I have on occasion told my friend to chill out, as he has a tendency to conduct himself like a really frantic, pissed off version of Chris Farley sometimes. Usually I just try to be really positive. Mostly I offer sympathetic smiles and kit-kat bars.


Look, I would never put down another person’s spouse or mate to them. You think I’m nuts? I’m only bringing it up on a message board because I think it is an interesting topic and like others have said, I can see both sides of this issue. I’m sympathetic to both parties. As I mentioned in my OP, both of these individuals are very nice people.

This is actually not the first time I’ve seen this situation. One of my friends from elementary school became a lawyer in California and then within 2 years flat out refused to work (she had a child but she also told me she didn’t like law). She and her husband actually filed bankruptcy. I thought it was strange. I kind of went hmm…that’s a little different. If I were her husband I’d probably be pissed! Course I never said that to her. I’m not an idiot you know.

Also, one of my sisters never got a job even though she graduated from an ivy league graduate school. She has never worked, ever. The question has come up if she owes my mom a little more effort since mom did put her through the first 4 years of college. Again, just find the whole topic interesting as I do all of life’s grey areas.