I disagree with the sappy stuff, that [censored] is way counterproductive and it just sets us up for what we aren't really going for.
Here's something related though- food for thought. Me and a buddy of mine did an experiment a year or 2 ago with hotornot.com- basically copy and paste this and send this to hot women. This is not how I'd normally do things, but he recommended it and it was a good experiment.
We got tons of numbers e-mailed to us and he got a ton of snatch. I didn't, bc I'm a married guy but it was still great. So many replies saying "I really feel a deep connection, you're intriguing" which of course means "use me, you internet perv"
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.s...d37ca32eab9289
Seems cheesy but it's worth consideration (make it a little shorter though.)
Also note that it should be refocused to more of a myspace setting rather than a personals ad deal. The theme here is what's important, if you send that unedited on myspace you'll creep out the hoes.