[Suiteness]

Dude let it go. Let's say, by some kind of unexplicable turn of events she ends up saying yes to you, there's no way in hell she can live up to that ridiculous image of hers that exists in your mind. You're pretty much only setting yourself up for dissapointment.

That's a pretty big 'if' anyways, I seriously doubt she'll ever want to be with you in a meaningful relationship after all that crap that happened between you guys. Have you ever heard of first impressions last forever? Yours was a disaster, and she probably put you in the 'Not getting into my vagina' category right then and there. Also lying to her about being gay won't win you brownie points either.

You messed that up one badly, do yourself a favor and move on. There's tons of women out there, go find one that wants you just as much as you want her.