[WilyTilt]

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Never stoned - I don't smoke dope and neither does she.
But yes, when I've told her I've liked her I've either been drunk or it's been by email, never sober and in person.

I guess I know I need to have the final "reject me pls so I can move on" scene with her, but I'd rather do it when I'm back weighing 180lbs than 225lbs, just in case.

I have a friend who gets laid all the time, a pick-up artist. How different we are - I'm wanting to be in love, to meet "the one", he just wants to get laid. How much more successful he is, and ironically how much more likely he is to actually fall in love than I am!




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OP, it seems like you can't communicate honestly unless you're drunk or stoned. You should work on that.

Then let her know that you're interested one more shot - when you're sober and you're prepared, and you can lay out your case to her. If that doesn't work, as it probably won't given what you wrote, then it's time to move on.

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It does seem that you need to relax more when you're around her, instead of acting like she's on a pedestal. Successful women generally would prefer someone be on their their level instead of worshipping them from below. It's probably a combination of that, and your own self-image issues. You'd be more attractive if you acted more attractive. If losing weight helps, go do it instead of moping. Writing the next bestselling novel wouldn't hurt either.

I don't think you mentioned this, but have you actually tried to make a physical move on her at any point? In 9 years?

Failing all of this, you sound like you're British, so you can always move to the states, where your accent will give you +2 out of 10 instantly.