[FlyWf]

"and if you go with screwdrivers or other citrusy mixers then the massive amount of citric acid would also wreak havoc on my gut."

There is no way the orange juice is the gut damaging part of the screwdriver.

Also, maybe there's a trick to this or I don't realize how [censored] up .18 is, but according to some random BAC calculator on a website a 220# dude would need 9 Gin and Tonics in an hour to hit .18. If I can covert 5 or 6 of those into shots that's trivially easy. Unless you're morbidly obese or such a woman that you can't handle shots some of the parameters of this question need to change.