[private joker]

I can only answer #2:

I think it's intentionally ambiguous how Jack died, but my interpretation is that the visual flash of him getting gay-bash-killed is the truth. Jack became increasingly more open about his sexuality over the years (cruising in Mexico, hitting on random straight dudes, etc.) and it's believable that some gay-bashers just caught up to him. Also, the way Anne Hathaway played the scene on the phone delivering the news to Ennis, it seemed like a rehearsed lie she had told several people, not wanting to let on how Jack died. I don't see any reason to believe Jack's father had anything to do with it.