[LovinItAll]

I'm sure I'll get flamed, but here goes:

I have empathy for your situation, but almost zero sympathy. Certain truths are self-evident, to wit:

1) You have every right to be happy and live your life under the conditions you choose. If your spouse/GF is not on board, find another one.

2) You are the enabler here. If, after many talks, you have not driven your point home, you are not doing a very effective job of communicating, as she is not listening.

You left a note, jetted for a week, and returned home to find her still there? Not only that, you mention that everything was "normal" after you returned. Normal people don't leave a note for their significant others before leaving town. They sit down and talk first or something.

You sound like a nice guy --- too nice. Since you haven't figured out a way to lock yourself in a room while you play so that you won't be disturbed, try this:

Sit her down and say, "Honey, I have tried to be nice to you regarding my feelings about playing cards and the concentration level I require to play successfully. For whatever reason, I don't seeem to be getting through to you, so here's what I'm going to do.....the next time I sit down to play and you interrupt me, I am going to get up and place you outside. I have changed the locks, so you will not be able to get back inside until I am done playing for the day. I don't want to take this extreme action, but you aren't leaving me with any other options, so please STFU while I'm playing."

You might also try to incorporate a little BDSM into your relationship. I envision something like this:

- First, rent "The Secretary" and have her watch it. Tell her you want to introduce a similar dynamic into your relationship.

- Next, tie her up, put a ball gag in her mouth, and make her sit next to you while you play. After the session, untie her legs and hit it hard. Repeat as necessary.

- An alternative to the above: Tell her you are introducing a new communication method. Everytime she interrupts and you lose a hand, she will receive a spanking. The number of spanks will be determined by your loss, not including cents.

Disregard any of the above advice if it violates any local, state, or federal laws.