[-beavs-]

all this needless friction could've been solved by a simple conversation:

douche: "hey dave, i'm thinkin' of having a party on thanksgiving eve. it could get out of hand, there'll be some rootbeer and maybe cranium if things heat up. is that cool with you?"

dave: "actually, no. i've got a presentation at 9am the next morning. sorry man."

douche: "bummer. oh well, can you at least rub some lotion on my back?"

dave: "sure."

*applies lotion*

douche: "oooh, that's nice. yeah slowly. oooh."
36 seconds later.
"i'm done. wanna play guitar hero?"

dave: "i'll get a towel."