[NajdorfDefense]

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Where do I begin with my most recent ex?

1. Got real drunk one night, went back to my dorm, passed out cause I could barely walk. Obviously didn't wake up to her calling my cell phone. Didn't hear the end of it for a couple days until I admitted what I did was wrong, and I was sorry. Even though I'm still not sure what I did wrong. If I'm passed out drunk, I'm passed out drunk. What do you want me to do about it?

2. Got drunk again, and passed out. She calls again. This time my roommates there and wakes me up. I answer, tell her what's up and that I just want to pass out cause I'm plastered and feel like [censored]. Well she'd rather talk so I again don't hear the end of it.

3. Went to a going away party one night for my best friend who was leaving for school out of state the next day. She got mad cause I did that instead of watching a movie with her. It was especially retarded cause I had just taken her out to a nice dinner and a musical the night before (Ya, a [censored] musical).

4. Got mad cause I didn't want to drive 45 minutes to her work so I could just sit there and hang out with her while she wasn't busy.

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That empty sack hanging below your [censored], the scrotum, is supposed to contain your balls. Demand them back from your girlfriend immediately, then tell her to grow up.