[MikeyPatriot]

My current relationship is great. My lady is not crazy, and any arguments we have come to reasonable ends. This is very refreshing from prior relationships. Best story I have:

I dated a girl on/off for 2 and a half years starting around my junior year in high school. During one of our off times, she "catches" me talking to a girl in the hallway. As I'm walking to class, she tries to confront me about it. She asks me why I was talking to her, that I probably want to [censored] her, etc. I'm obviously sick of this [censored], and I just agree with everything she says very sarcastically.

Then out of nowhere, she kicks me in the balls. Luckily, she wore slippers to school that day (?), but a kick to the balls is a kick to the balls. Unfortunately, in one of my lesser moments, I slap her back instinctually. Immediately she blows up and starts asking teachers, students, etc. where she goes to "tell on me" (WTF? We're in high school). After figuring out she has to go to the office (DUH), she turns to me and says, "I'm telling on you...and I'm telling that it hurt."

So, I went to class and lo and behold, the school cop pulls me out to talk about it. Him (and later the dean I had to talk to) both were super understanding about the situation. Basically they told me that we'd both be getting a 3 day in school suspension and her parents can press chargers (I was 18 at the time). I was on pretty good terms with her parents, so I wasn't too concerned about charges.

I retardedly got back together with her after that.