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To get a decent trip report you should do something balla.
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What if totally anti-balla for the laughs. Do things like:
<ul type="square"> Saying how I never play aces because they always get cracked.
I called 4 bets cold preflop HU because my 3-8 was sooted.
I knew I was beaten, which is why I had to call to find out.
Say the hand is dead whenever Black Mariah (Qs) hits the board.
Rub the belly of the seat to my right for luck whenever I'm in a hand.
Stand up and yell "Bingo bitches" everytime I steal the blinds (as loose as these games are, this may never happen).
Splash the pot with every bet, announce sorry quickly, but do the same damn thing my very next bet.[/list]