[metrognome7]

Aout four years ago I shared a house in St. Louis with three other guys. About 6 months into our lease Ryan, one of the three, comes home from work, sits down with Blake and I on the couch to watch the Daily Show, and then heads upstairs. A while later I go to bed, followed shortly after (I assume) by Blake.

The next morning, around 10, Blake knocks on Ryan's door to ask him for his cut of the rent. When he receives no answer, he pushes the door open a bit...

The room's totally empty. All of Ryan's stuff, from his king-sized bed to his beer bottlecap collection, is gone. Blake calls me up to check things out, and lo and behold, all that's left in the room is a black lace thong hanging from the pullstring on the ceiling fan (never explained). Ryan's car is also gone.

We call Ryan's cell; no answer. Blake calls his work; he quit yesterday. Nick (the 4th roomie and Ryan's best friend) calls his parents'; they haven't heard anything. We have no [censored] clue where he is, why he left, or when he moved his stuff out. We all know that the room was occupied less that 24 hours ago.

Two months later, Ryan calls Nick from Los Angeles. He moved out there to be with a girl he'd met over the internet, but didn't know how to get out of our lease. So, apparently, he rented a UHaul, pulled it up around 2am, loaded out (with the help of a work buddy), and drove west. How he didn't wake us up moving a bed and dresser down two flights of stairs I'll never know...

He was back in St. Louis less than three months later.