[doubLe a tom]

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I pwned the first field sobriety test (standing on one foot and counting) then the a-hole has to bust out his pen and do that one and I guess I failed cause depressants make your eyes do weird things.

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Yeah, because the guy trying to keep all of us alive is the a-hole.

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I was not completely shitfaced. I had a few drinks and after a few drinks I can still drive better than 99% of females.