[PokerintheI]

I've got 2, cause I'm not sure which was closer to death.

#1. Worked 3rd shift, then drove 1 hour to register for classes at my new college. Got back on the road home about 12pm. Been awake for 28ish hours at this point. And this is a major interstate. About half way home I doze off and go off the road a little which wakes me up. I of course immediately jerk the wheel back onto the road. I immediatly lose control and do two full revolutions, 2 cars swerve to avoid me, and I finally straighten out in the right lane going about 15 mph. I pull off the road just as a huge caravan of traffic being held back by one truck passing another zooms past me. And this was while driving a wee little 1988 Corolla hatchback.

#2. First year of college at Michigan Tech. Unlike most of the students, I have never drank, and don't know any of the common sense rules that go along with drinking. So, have a depressing conversation with GF (10 hours away) and decide to drink a little. 8:00pm I start drinking straight out of my brand new bottle of 101 proof Peppermint schnapps. 8:45pm my roommate comes to get me to go play some Euchre. About 1" is left in the bottle when we leave. 9:30pm I get some cheese sticks from the cafe. Thats about the last thing I remember.

Apparently I was awake until about midnight when they managed to get me back to the room. I woke up at 2:00pm the next day covered in a minty mixture of Ravioli, Cheeze Sticks and assorted bits of other things and soaked in piss. Staggered to the bathroom and threw up some more. About 7:00pm I managed to shower and went to the health clinic cause I felt pretty bad. The Doc gave me some really expensive immodium AD and hooked me up to an IV because I was apparently dehydrated.

When I finally managed to tell him a more detailed account, the doctor shook his head and told me the only reason I was alive was a combination of luck, and the fact that I weighed 250lbs. 20 lbs less or one metaphysical coinflip not in my favor and I would have been a sad story cited whenever the politicians stump against drinking on campus.

I'm still not sure if he was just trying to scare me or being honest, but I decided to take him at his word.