[Ansky]

Ok heres another good one.

Last summer I played a lot at a NYC poker club, AP for those who knew it. Nick Shulman played there a lot, usually at the biggest games. Typically I played 1/2 nl back in those days, and the games were always soft. One day however after killing the 1/2 for a couple hours, I decided to take a live underrolled shot at the 5/5 game. It was 500 buy in and generally played insano aggressive and super fishy.

I was playing fairly tight but hit some hands and ran my stack up to about 1200. There was a real character in the game, who most people called "Ace." (preceded by a first name, which i won't mention). He was loud, constantly hitting on the female dealers, chatting everyone up-- being very obnoxious overall. One time I was in the place he was trying to borrow money from someone after going busto (he was a huge degen) and when the guy refused he said "What? Don't be so cheap, what are you, a [censored] jew?"

Anyway, onto the hand. I open raise ATs to 20 from the CO, and 'ace' calls in the CO, 1 blind calls. Flop is 34T with 1 heart (I had no hearts). I bet 60 after the blind checks, and 'ace' calls, the bb folds. He then says to the dealer "come on baby, let me hit my hand ONE TIME." He was already stuck a few K this session and was definitely on perma tilt anyway. Turn is a 7 of hearts. I Bet 150 and he looks at the dealer and says with a straight face "I got half the [censored] deck for my hand here, COME ON ONE [censored] TIME." At this point, I'm sort of certain he has a A5h or pair+flush draw type hand.

River, is an offsuit ace. I look at him for about 5 seconds and he was staring directly at the river card. I figure if he has 25 or a 56, I'm never folding anyway against this clown, so I may as well just bet myself and try to get a call from worse hands. He has about 650 left, and I realize that if he hit the ace he will prob call anyway, so I announce "all in." Immediatly 'ace' slams his hands on the table, and starts cursing. He looks at me and says "what do you have kid? If I fold will you show me? If I fold, can you please show me? Huh? yes?"

I basically become a statue and dont say anything. He is sitting there talking through the hand outloud, being a real douchebag. Eventually someone else at the table gets fed up and calls the clock on him and 'ace' really gets pissed. He is visibly sweating and becoming hysterical. "[censored] [censored] [censored] [censored], I am down so much tonight, I swear to god why am I so [censored] unlucky. Any other river card I know if I can fold or call, this one is a tough decision. [censored] me."

With about 20 seconds left, the dealer says "20 seconds bud." He only gets more hysterical.

"10 seconds sir"
Finally 'ace' sticks his face out onto the felt basically, and says very firmly to me: "Listen kid, WILL YOU SHOW IF I FOLD." I don't say anything at first, then realize that he's too dumb to be doing any angle shooting or multiple level thinking, so I very calmy say "I will not show you if you fold, definitely not."

"5 seconds"
'ace' then yells "OK I CALL THEN!!!" and victory slams ace five of hearts onto the felt and made one of the most priceless and helpless looking faces I have ever seen as he was waiting for me to turn over my hand. I quickly flip up top 2, and he goes NUTS. He doesn't say anything to me, he just slams his chair over, and starts ranting and cursing like a total lunatic, and runs out into the main room.

Right after he left the room the entire table went crazy, howling with laughter and giving me high fives and pats on the back like I was somehow a hero for busting the psycho.

After a few hands, a regular who was quite good leans over and whispers to me,

"Hey kid, just so you know, if you wanted him to call, you could have just said you weren't gonna show your hand in the first place, the guy is totally clueless."

Was definitely a story to remember for me.