[GirlTrouble]

Hi. I am an occasional OOT and strategy poster but since some of my friends read this board and know my name IRL I have to use an alias.

My wife informed me a week ago that she has been emailing back and forth with a guy she met on Friendster. This has been going on for maybe a month, though I’m not sure. She claims that he has made no hint of any sexual interest, and that she initiated contact with him because his profile looked cool and he lives in our area, very close-by in fact. She has not added him as a “friend” on that site nor have they ever met. She said right off that he’s a big dork and unattractive and that she’d never be interested.

First of all, how do you think I should react to this news? Is there anyone who thinks, SFW? Next case?


What I did do was become somewhat moody and vaguely disturbed (but stayed calm). I insisted she show me his emails and she agreed reluctantly. Then I asked to see his profile, and she showed me…He was not actually unattractive at all, at least no more than me, and he even looked a bit like me. He is unattached, but doesn’t appear to be a sleazeball in any way. She does have other male friends that I totally trust her around, including an ex-boyfriend. We are both in our early thirties and have been together for many years. This is the first interest she’s shown in another guy, even as a friend, since I have known her.

I am 99% sure she is not cheating on me, the least clue being that she told me about him unprovoked. What I am nervous about is 1. this may be a sign that she is losing interest in me. 2. this guy may be one of you OOT smoothies who pretends to be her best buddy teddybear until he’s got the fishy on the hook. She’s not stupid, but she does have more faith than me in a man’s ability to NOT be sexually attracted in a woman-friend. Anytime I do something dumbarsed, I’ll be afraid that she’s gonna run to him about it, but perhaps this is just paranoia.

I have not followed up on my request to read the emails he sent her.

What is my move here?