[HP]

I keep tempting myself to do things that don't make any sense at all. Like, say I'm walking down the street and I pass a store with a big window, I'm tempted to just throw myself through the window. I'm not crazy though here's my reasoning:

I often think maybe the whole world as I know it is basically a trivial creation of some one elses. 'the matrix' would be an example of this. Like, maybe one day I will 'snap out of it', and wake up on a spaceship and realize this life was pretty much just a dream purposely created for entertainment value, since I have too much time to kill during my space travel.

Or, I am hooked into this false reality for my whole life, just so other people can watch my life through my own eyes for entertainment.

It would make sense for the creator of this false world to not bother creating the whole Earth, but like, just things within 100km of me. So when I move cities, the old city no longer exists, however it pops back into existence when I go back to it.

Also, it would make sense for the creators to not bother having things in existence that I won't use. Like, if they know I'll be in the same room for the next hour, then just outside that room will be nothing, or like, something that's not supposed to be there

So in an effort to thwart the creator(s), I can try to catch them offguard by doing something nonsensical that they haven't accounted for.

I imagine that say I jump into the window, and at the moment of impact reality get's all 'glitchy', and I snap out of it, or at least confirm my suspicions.

I sometimes imagine certain scenarios, like when I snap out of it and I'm in the 'real reality', my real memory floods back to me, and I realize this whole life was basically a Playstation 17 game, and I won a bet from my friends.

The bet started out:

me: "so you're telling me, that if I was born into a world with people smart enough to create a complex civilation but yet still wander aimlessly through life seemingly not caring at all that they have no idea if there is a god (or have retarded beliefs about god), or what the meaning of life is, they just keep 9 to 5'in it like happy mindless drones, I would not suspect that something is up?"

friend: "absolutely dude, you would just go along with it, do what everyone else does"

me: "fack you I wouldn't, I would be smart enough to realize people could not possibly be that oblivious. Wanna put some money on it?? 50 space credits??"

friend: "It's on. Let's hook you up"

So occaisionally I do stuff like, after taking a piss in the bathroom and walking towards the kitchen, I will stop like halfway, turn around, walk into the bathroom and turn the light on and take a quick look around for anything suspicious. Or I might be in the middle of a routine, like walking along the street on the way to something, but then walk somewhere I've never been to before and have no need to go to.

Another weird thing I do is when I walk around a crowded area, I like to do my best to casually 'flow' around other people walking like I'm Barry Sanders. The key is to do it like you are cool as ice, you need to make it look easy and fluid and inconspicuous. It feels great when there's an ass who's like in a rush to get some where so he rudely nudges through and cuts people off everywhere as he walks, yet I manage to move faster than him while seemingly exerting no effort. You can't force it though, obv