Lawyer jokes
Those were the German jokes; here's the originals.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a lamprey?
One is a bloodsucking parasite that drains people of life, the other is just a lamprey.
(You can use leech or vampire or mosquito if you want to, but I like lampreys)
What do you call a place where a lawyer has been shot?
A better place.
What do you call a shark that ate a lawyer?
A hero.
Did you hear about the hostage situation? A man took twelve lawyers hostage and he threatened to release one each hour until his demands were met.
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to fight his appeal.
A priest is testifying in a courtroom about how he saw a demon in his church. The prosecution lawyer asks him, "And when you entered the church, what did you see?"
The priest says, "I saw a being of indescribable evil, filled with nothing but malice and hatred."
The lawyer replies, "I'm sorry, you must be mistaken. I don't go to church."
I probably should have posted this in reverse order.
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