[FishNChips]

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wait, why havent you called the phone company to get this dudes number yet? this seems like first step. the people who think you should apologize for kicking the door are [censored] braindead morons.

rj

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braindead moran here....

clearly she's got some 'splaining to do. This certainly looks very very very bad and I agree with those that put her cheating as 99% likely but OP shouted "WHO THE [censored] WAS THAT" as soon as she got off the phone. That's not exactly appropriate treatment of the mother of your child and the woman you plan to spend the rest of your life with. Asking who it was without shouting and obscenities might have worked better.

Kicking the door isn't helping things either. Fine, he doesn't have to apologize for that. Whatever. His initial reaction is totally out of line given the info that we have.~FishNChips

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OK, so..he shouldn't have shouted at her...ok..who cares?? Why does the level of his voice matter? The important thing is that he's trying to find out who this MALE is that is calling his fiancee at night. She needs to answer him, immediately, regardless of the volume of his shouting.

And he kicked a door...SO WHAT!? You are acting as if her going into the room and locking the door is a "normal" thing. Her action is not normal. He is informing her of this by expressing his anger. If he cares about her, he RIGHTFULLY should be pissed off.

You people are acting like kicking a locked door = Jack Torrance wielding an axe towards Olive Oil in the Shining.

Get real. I've reacted far worse than this to my GF, who has done far less in terms of upsetting. I'm Irish, and hot-headed...it just happens. I have never struck another girl though. But I will strike an inanimate object if it gets a point across. Once a girl sees you are willing to break a knuckle on a TV screen, I think she'll realize you want answers. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] A lot of times, polite asking doesn't get you jack.

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I haven't defended ANYTHING the fiancee' has done here. She created this situation. Kicking the door isn't that big a deal, you're right. I also noted that he dind't have to apologize for that.

Here's my main point : They have a kid together and regardless of the reason for the call they are going to have to maintain some sort of moderately civil relationship for the benefit of the kid. "civil" != "nice" But "civil" does = polite, respectful, rational. Apologizing for shouting at her would help make that happen.

Asking politely doesn't always work, I agree. Starting by shouting almost never works.

Also, why do you and OP both feel the need to point out that you've never hit a woman and that you never would? Do you want brownie points for that? Pointing out that you're Irish and have a hot temper as a reasonable explanation for why you punched out a TV doesn't help either. Other Irish stereotypes include excessive drinking, so should I assume that you were drunk at the time you punched out the TV? Does punching out the TV make you more of a man than me? Does that fact that when I have disagreements with my wife I do everything I can to control my temper and discuss them with her and if I cross a line in the argument I later apolgize for it make me a pussy?

Things I've learned from OOT this week:
1 - "cheating" isn't cheating if you dont' get caught.
2 - "cheating" is cheating if its some dumb bitch whore that is cheating on somone in OOT
3 - screaming down my woman and breaking things to get answers is acceptable as long as I can blame it on my heritage
4 - its important to point out that I never have and never would hit a woman. I might do other things to try and scare the crap out of her and get my way, but I certainly wouldn't hit her.
5 - apologizing is for pussies with vaginas

~FishNChips