[Dominic]

okay, I'm sitting at the very soft, loose-passive 1-2 NL game at the Orleans today, watching football. I've doubled my buy-in of $300 but that was hours ago. Now, I'm card dead. So I proceed to practice folding KJos to raises like a good boy. In fact, I've tightened up so much that the rest of the table is joking about it, saying things like "Hey, if he finally raises, I'm out!"

My stack is around $640...It's a friendly table, lots of joking around and good company.

Until...

This enebriated, 20-something "wigga" guy comes to the table, drops about $80 on the table and sternly warns us all that He Has Arrived and that he's about to bust all of us chumps. Then he goes to the bathroom.

When he comes back, he dumps another pile of chips on the table, mostly greens with a few reds mixed in. Obviously over $500, certainly over the max of $300. He says he's buying in for $100.

I calmly tell him and the dealer that if he's only going to buy in for $100 the gentleman should remove the other chips from the table, so everyone is clear on how much he has behind. Naturally, Mr. Wigga gets all belligerent and in my face, calling me names and saying I should only worry about my own stack, since he's about to take it.

Well, I think this is pretty funny, but still insist he take the other chips off the table. The dealer is busy dealing the next hand and has inexplicably decided not to say anything. I finally pick up a hand and raise to $12 dollars, still arguing with the guy that he should have to remove anything above $300 from the table.

"[censored] you Chump, I'm not going to remove anything. I'm all in." And he pushes all those chips forward.

"Yeah, that's right. That's how I roll. So fold like a little bitch and you can shut your bitch-ass mouth."

Everyone else naturally folds. I look at the dealer to see if he's going to say anything, but he's avoiding my eyes. Cool. I ask the idiot how much he's got and says, "More than you, Chump." I nod, agreeing, and call.

The dealer deals out the cards. Mr. Wigga stands up and slams his hands face-up on the table when a J rivers a garbage board. He's got Ace-Jack.

"Yeah, Beeeyatch....now shut your punk-ass up and go get some more money."

I calmly flip over my Aces - I mean, really, what else could I have, right?

His eyes grow wide again and he starts saying no no no over and over again, insisting he only bought in for $100. Immediately, I yell for the floor. The floor comes over, and the Dealer (suddenly all chatty) tells him the story exactly as it happened. The floor just wants to know one thing. When Mr. Wigga pushed all-in, did he push all his chips forward? Yes. Then nothing else matters. If the Gentleman wants to ignore the house rules of a $300 max buy-in, he should except the results if he loses.

The dealer pushes me the pot, Mr. Wigga is incredulous and storms out. Alas, before I could come up with a fitting one-liner. Anyone have any thing that would've been appropriate?


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