[Hopey]

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I've seen an almost carbon copy situation in my own extended family recently, and in that case, the wife was also having an affair. FWIW.

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Quite frankly, I can't think of a single similar situation where the woman *wasn't* having an affair.

I don't mean to make the OP feel any worse than how he's feeling, but I really think he needs to seriously entertain this possibility. If he can prove to himself that she's having an affair (or if she admits to it), it'll hurt like hell, but it might make it easier for him to move on.

I suggest hiring a PI to follow her around for a bit. If she's having an affair, it won't take long for it to be discovered.