[ArchAngel71857]

Notes and Comments:

1. It's about time you posted this.

2. It was not a dodge intrepid. I tried to rent the car from Hertz, who wouldn't let me, despite 2kf's assurances. When I couldn't, I went next door to Sav-Mor car rental (I spelled it right) and got a Ford Taurus. It didn't remain a Ford Taurus for long, because it was since dubbed the Ford Clitoris, and I swear to God it was pink. So we pimped out the whole time in a Ford Clitoris.

2. Cup forgot the most important part of the story. During the second afternoon, as Cup and I are sitting at the softest 8-16 table in the planet, we are waiting for 2kf. I spot him from across the room. He is about 6'2. 215 lbs. He is wearing a small size green t-shirt that says Kiss Me I'm Irish. He has on "shorts." I put the quotes because I have boxers that are longer. They are yellow with red flames on the bottom, and say "Hottie, Las Vegas" on the ass. He has not cut his hair in 9 months. And has it slicked back excpet the very bottom (kind of a make do mullet. props to nascar fans. the mullet style would closely resemble Fluffy Feather if that means anything to anybody). He has on these sunglasses that are about half the size of his head. I don't know how else to describe them except to say its something I expect that guy Ali G to wear or whatever. Finally, he is wearing golf shoes. So 2kf comes over to us and wants to sit at our table. The only problem is that they are breaking our table up to make room for the tourney about to start, and won't accept new players. So when 2kf starts to sit down the dealer explains "well, you shouldn't, but does anyone have a problem with it?" One jack off guy who took his inspiration for life from Thomas Spakowski says "Yeah, I have a problem with it." and then proceeds to expalin to the dealer who this would skip him ahead of the two people on the 8/16 waiting list (I HAVE PEOPLE SKILLS!). So 2kf walks off and says "Well don't take it personally." Which Spakowski did and said "Well, I do."
The christopher walken impersonator just laughed and said under his breath "Whoa, too crazy."

C. This time, AA joins me at 15-30. He’s never played anything higher than 5-10 but I was confident he could beat the game, despite the fact I was sitting there.

Har har. ass.

D. During the time when Cup was "dehydrated" and "tired and "a tweleve year old girl (ooo, look she's going to be a woman soon. Here's something for you, Cup, your very own training bra. do you like it? does it feel nice on your newly developed bosom?)," 2kf brought back his costume to the 4-8 table. This is where he developed his tricks that were in effect on saturday night. I really just remember laughing a lot, drinking, talking with dealers about where they were from, because it seemed I used to live near everyone the bellagio hired, and running back up to the room to [censored] with cup, which happened about every hour.

Next. We had decided we wanted to play golf, so we found a course way out and set a tee time sunday morning for 9 AM. when we got back from the mirage at 4 AM, we called the pro shop and left the message "Hi Debbie, we can't make our tee time. something came up." I think we still got charged.

8,;. The old hag was named permafrown. She responded to this name. Second, the hardest the table laughed was when two girls asked Cup and I what 2kf did for a living. Our response: "professional poker player." Other highlights include Cup and I's locker room fun at the dealer yelling "My box is empty," having the entire table chant 2kf's name when he delivered the note to Purple Shirt, ordering my ninth or tenth amstel light, having a bet on how many urinals were in the men's room (which Cup and I somehow miscounted), and finishing up $350.

9. Sunday was fun as we met Nicole and NiTanya by the pool and as we all put suntan lotion on each other's backs in the worst congo line the bellagio has ever seen. Coming back from dinner, the highlight of the trip happened. After repeatedly putting up with the pointless bellagio security checkpoint, I utter "I wish we had tied 2kf up and put him in the trunk." Next thing I hear is the back door slam, and see him climb into the trunk and close it. Needless to say, the security guard about [censored] his pants. we recieved a good kindergarten scowling and were told "you won't think its funny when you turn around and leave." so we proceeded to park and go into the casino.

That's all I can really add. Also the fact that I kept grabbing as many porn fliers as I could find and handing them to Cup, 2kf, and our friend. Mostly our friend. Who kept taking them every time.

-AA

P.S. One string of events I do remember: Sat night. We leave the Bellagio, but not before 2kf can make a stop at casino war. He drops a 100 bill and wants one 100 chip. He gets an explanation of how it is played and wants to hear the dealer say "I've got black action." Which she does. He gets dealt a 5. Dealer 4. He picks it up, tosses her a 5 dollar bill and we go to the Mirage. Leaving the Mirage, he stops by the blackjack table. Gets an explanation on how its played and drops the black Bellagio chip down. After getting IDed only on the condition the dealer would say "I've got black action," he hits a 20 and the dealer busts. Word. Walking back into the Bellagio, he makes a stop at casino war. Stubbornly, the dealer refuses to say "I've got black action," and when 2kf wins by hitting a K to her 3, he throws her one dollar and says "it would have been more if you had said 'I've got black action.'" On to the poker room. He sits at the 200 NL limit table and pulls his usual "Next hand I'm going all-in no matter what." He gets AK and beats some idiot who talked [censored] and called with T9s. He picks up all 390 dollars worth of chips and starts walking around. He sits back down later and the pit boss explains that he has to buy in for all 400 dollars, to which 2kf does not care. "Next hand I am going all in." A guy with 350 calls. 2kf: AJ with the Jack of spades. Other guy: AK, both red. Final board: four spades. Yoink, and we go to bed.