[johnc]

A couple of years back I went through a really bad time in my life. I went through a divorce and was faced with a ton of debt and losing my house that I had built myself. Bottomline, life looked very bleak and frankly, my future didn't seem very promising either. The only thing that kept me going was my job and my family but I knew that it could only sustain me for so long - I felt like life was dragging me down. So, I did the only thing that I could and that was to seek help. I found out that my depression and lack of "zest" for life medically correctable and was not major depression. Now, I'm not saying that your difficulties now have anything to do with mine, except that the only way you'll find some real answers in to seek professional help. Do yourself a huge favor and get help.