Re: I came back to say hello
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No one is exactly thrilled with my plans to alleviate my suffering. My plan by the way is to become a poker pro basically. However nothing could sound worse coming from me. FOr instance lets take my moms point of view. She has to pay for therapy and medications so that i can think straight. I like to dance to gnarles barkley and i play system of a down ALOT.I walk around naked all the time and I usually miss the toilet seat when i pee. I bring a lot of crap in to her house, ie porn, anime, and pot. And i got a 0.0 gpa at college last semester. and i never eat food. Ok so I tell her that my plan is to become a poker pro. She knows nothing about gambling except for the fact that its a sin. DO you see where she might not have too much faith in my goals?? Actually no one believes in me at all. I have a bunch of relationships with people that are based on the fact that
1.They feel sorry for me or
2. They are selling me something / using me.
Thats why i imagine the moment when I plunk down 26k that i win in the scotty nguyen poker challenge so much. And it makes me sad because i no longer trust in my own abilities to do anything right. but what if..what if some how i win a big tourny or I write something that sells well?then the jester will become the prophet.These are the delussions that i hold on to to keep me alive, that and marrying shannon, an even worse delusion.
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Don't give up on your delusions. Everyone needs goals in their lives.
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