[mockingbird]

Your posts are EXTREMELY alarming. You sound completely out of control. You remind me of a coke addict in the middle of a major binge. You are not thinking clearly. You definitely are not making sound decisions.

Get out of Vegas. Go home. Give whats left of your money (if there's anything left) to someone you can trust to keep it for you, i.e., your mother. Get to a GA meeting. Call your boss.

I dont think you will take any of the above suggestions. You sound so coked out, so crazy. You sound much younger than mid thirties - no offense. I think that emotional immaturity usually accompanies addictions of all kinds - although it is not the whole story. I dont know what to say to you that would be of any help.

I can imagine a nightmare post from you in 6 weeks saying that you were fired from your job, you are broke, you borrowed all the money you could get your hands on and lost it all, and Allison left when the money did (surprise surprise).


You have major life problems to deal with. I hope you will get to GA and get started before you do irreperable damage to your life and career.


Good Luck to you