[KingOtter]

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I think KingOtter's comment reflect this well. He and his wife have little in common and they do not communicate well. Yet, they stay together and my guess is that it is because of the primary need to reproduce effectively.

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We've already reproduced, and yet we still stay together. And I have no desire to leave... don't get me wrong, my wife and I enjoy each other's company. We have a lot of fun.

We don't get hung up on petty differences or try to make the other person do what we want. We don't try to make the other person into someone they are not. You have to accept them as they are, at their core. This means you have to find out who they are, at their core, in the beginning.

That's why you can't prance and dance at the beginning of a relationship, putting on a show to attract your mate. You have to be who you are.

I think the reproduction 'need' you speak of is the first 2-3 months of the relationship... the chemical attraction, the lust, the desire. I don't see that as a real long-term need. And certainly not a relationship need.

Maybe in some women, the need to have someone guard over her children commits her to a man. But I don't feel the same protective instinct.

I have a rearing instinct, but find it usually comes down to wanting to make my boys into good, strong men, rather than a protective need.


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btw - today is Mrs. Utah's and my 10th wedding anniversary and we have been together for 13 years.

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Congratulations! Our 10th was May 25th.

KO