[Catch of the Day]

I think you hit it on the head. Using an inflamatory example to illustrate a point...But the point is still a sound one and applies.

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me not taking a strong stance against her being flirty and me not taking a strong stance against hooking up with me are different.

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This is where you get into trouble. Being ok with her 'flirting' seems 'a dick move' imo. And a common one made among guys I think. This chick seems to be hinting that she wants you and seems to be sublety letting you know. You obviously are getting that impression at least. Yet you feel justified in playing a passive role as if the blame lies solely on her.

I think there is a line, and where that line lies depends on the people involved. When a friend's lady is giving you the impression that her intentions are other than 'friendly' I would advise that you address it. The reason my advice is as such is simply because I would want a friend to do the same for me.

It's just a general mindset that we all struggle with.

This girl my friend is seeing wants me to bad? Your play?

Is she hot?
Will he find out?
SIIHP!
Are they dating?
Will he care?
Will you be wasted at the time?
etc.etc.etc.

Curse these penis's...