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Get a girlfriend that likes that quality about you and accept who you are. I am the exact same way. I realized a few years ago that I just didn't like small talk or idle banter. I keep a small ring of close friends and am much happier this way. You can train yourself to be more outgoing but I am willing to bet that you won't like it. Just be yourself.

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Well, I'd take that bet myself. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Firstly, my social awkwardness is something that I despise about myself. I don't like not knowing what to do, and how to act. In fact, when I'm in those social settings, I'm not being myself at all. Either through fear or anxiety, I can't express myself. It's like I can never let myself be an ass or let myself act stupid, all out of fear. And fear of what? I already feel that I know that someone's opinion of me doesn't invalidate myself, but I can't make my body believe it. It still gnaws at me, makes me tense, and turns me into a mute. THAT'S what I hate about myself. The constant requirement of validating myself to people I don't give a flying [censored] for. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

I'd like to be myself, I really would. My girlfriend asks me why I don't show what I show to her around other people? Why can't I be confident? I feel that confidence is the crutch of today's society. If you're in any public, professional position, you must have confidence in yourself, and your ideas. This is yet another reason why this is so important to me.

I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety when I was younger. They medicated me, and gave me counselling, and it just didn't work. Now, I know it isn't just caused by my thoughts or my feelings. It's caused by something I cannot control internally. However, I am going to try all of the things I can to break myself of these psychological barriers that are preventing me from expressing myself.

I do believe that you can change yourself, no matter how old you are, as long as you truly WANT to, and will put forth the effort to do so. I know this, because I've done it already. This is just another change I will make and get past, and I'll be better for it. If "myself" is someone who cannot function in a social setting, ISSCKM.

I do want to thank you all for all of your posts of encouragement and your suggestions. They has helped me out tremendously, and only time will tell if I do make progress.

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