Where can I get free liquor or beer?
 

Ok everybody, I'm dirt broke and wont get any cash until at least Thursday. I need a way to get some liquor in me because I'm a down and out alky. I'm actually drinking the last liquor in my house right now. It's some old ass port wine.
Heres what I'm up against. I have no car, my transportation is a bike. I dont have any friends in the area to borrow from. Bartenders around here are stingy and will definately not comp me any drinks.
Here are my ideas.....I dont have any. For all of you suggesting get a job, quit drinking etc. these are not options. I'm looking for a creative response at least, but nothing that will send me to prison. Help.

Re: Where can I get free liquor or beer?
 

ill help u get free morphine at the hospital

Re: Where can I get free liquor or beer?
 

have u tried my penis

Re: Where can I get free liquor or beer?
 

Payday loan.

Re: Where can I get free liquor or beer?
 

[ QUOTE ]
have u tried my penis

[/ QUOTE ]

it shoots fire imo

Re: Where can I get free liquor or beer?
 

[ QUOTE ]
have u tried my penis

[/ QUOTE ]
i dont usually drink thru my ass but ill make an exception

Re: Where can I get free liquor or beer?
 

Put on your oldest clothes, roll around in a field, don't shower or shave. Bring an empty and a paper bag with you.
Go down to your local liquor store. Hang around outside. Ask people entering the store for a buck. Tell them "I could lie to you and say that I need bus fare. Ima tell you the truth, I'll just use it to buy a beer."

I gave a bum who said this a buck once, so it works.

Re: Where can I get free liquor or beer?
 

Beer run dude.

Walk in
Grab beer
Walk out while old lady yells
drunkenness

Re: Where can I get free liquor or beer?
 

black ski mask plus running shoes. Steal from the local drive thru.

Re: Where can I get free liquor or beer?
 

hand sanitizer has a lot of alcohol in it. try that.

also: have you tried going to the deep south?