Two Plus Two Newer Archives - beat: fat roommate's fat girlfriend yells at me

This is part 2 in the saga of my life with a fat roommate who has a fat girl friend. Here's part 1 if you missed it.
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showfl...part=1&vc=1

Anyone who knows anything about fat people knows that they snore. My fat roommate is no exception. I envy people who live next to train tracks because the noise they have to deal with is infinitely more bearable then what I have to live with every night. It isn't even a normal snore. It is constantly changing pitch and length and volume. It will go from just loud breathing to a low roar to sounding like someone is playing Jurassic park in my room with the volume turned all the way up.

Now for some unimaginable reason the fat girl isn't bothered by this noise at all. He sleeps flat on his back with his arms sprawled over his head and his mouth wide open with disgusting noises coming out of it while girl lies there on her side cuddling him. It is the most disgusting site you could ever imagine.

So last night this happens. I wake up in the middle of the night due to his snoring. This happens about 3-5 times every night. The only way I can possible get back to sleep is to get the snoring to cease for a couple of minutes. To do this I keep a giant wooden spoon next to my bed to hit him with. Now what happened last night is that when I went to hit him with the spoon I hit the girl instead. He didn't stop snoring so I did it two more times. The fourth time girl yells out "would you cut the [censored]."

Now I was infuriated. Here I am in my own room, I can't fall asleep, and some fat girl is talking crap to me. I managed to control my anger and not say anything to her right there. If I wasn't able to control my anger so well blood would have been spilled that night.
http://aycu04.webshots.com/image/156...6519230_rs.jpg

So now today I have to confront this problem because I would feel like too much of a wimp if I didn't. Some fat girl is going to come into MY room and took [censored] to ME. I go up to them and tell her that no guest in my room is going to talk to me like that. She's only allowed in my room because I let it happen because I don't want to be a jerk to my roommate. She refuses to apologize and I leave the room still angry and not satisfied.

So BBV, what is my play. I saw her shampoo bottle and figured I could blow a load in there. That would get her back and avoid any direct confrontation with my roommate whom I have to live with for the rest of the year. I could be a bitch and have the RA kick her out since she has no right being here but that would certainly cause problems with my roommate. Any other suggestions? I need to get her back so I can still feel like a man but I want to avoid direct confrontation with roommate.