First time having sex, Then she breaks up with me?? wtf (boring)
 

we got a huge snowstorm this valentines day so it made my plans with this new girl i met very difficult. anyways im in my room doing some inverted calf kickoffs when I hear my aunt yell my name (im living there for a little while right now) its my girlfriend on the phone and her parents dont want me driving her in this weather. so we change the plans a little and decide ill go over there and make her dinner around 8pm and we will just watch a movie and chill. so i get ready put on a nice yellow shirt, some dress pants, trim my pubes and noticed its a little after 8 allready so im like "[censored]" and I hurry up and put my shoes on grab her present and head out the door.

I arrive and her mom heads into her bedroom where i guess her husband is. I go into the kitchen and throw in a tombstone and we put on elf. I turn off the lights and sit next to her on the couch. By this time I have an enormous raging hard-on. she moves closer to me and we start making out and we are about to do it and she is worried that her parents will come out. I tell her to relax and we will pretend like we are just cuddling under the blankets. So I pull off her pants and noticed she is shaved. I start doing her missionary style and she is farting while we are doing it??? Anyways I don't last long but it was amazing. and later I walked back to my house next door. the snow is so deep i am waddling like a [censored] penquin but i dont care cause today i am the [censored] man.

Then today she just calls me up and tells me she doesn't want to see me anymore and that its not my fault its just hers. she starts telling me she was never my girlfriend WTF!! I start crying and tell her to tell me why and am so upset. she says she was lonely and just needed someone to hang out with on valentines day. oot please help me i really love this girl and dont know what to do? i am so depressed now. how do i get her back.

Re: First time having sex, Then she breaks up with me?? wtf (boring)
 

i guess this is supposed to be funny

Re: First time having sex, Then she breaks up with me?? wtf (boring)
 

[ QUOTE ]
i guess this is supposed to be funny

[/ QUOTE ]

But was the humour intentional?

Re: First time having sex, Then she breaks up with me?? wtf (boring)
 

Relax for right now, you wont no whats really going on for a little while. So try not to beat yourself up.

Re: First time having sex, Then she breaks up with me?? wtf (boring)
 

[ QUOTE ]
this new girl i met...

im in my room doing some inverted calf kickoffs...

put on a nice yellow shirt, some dress pants, trim my pubes...

she is farting while we are doing it...

today i am the [censored] man...

I start crying...

i really love this girl...

[/ QUOTE ]

Something's not adding up here.

Re: First time having sex, Then she breaks up with me?? wtf (boring)
 

weak effort

Re: First time having sex, Then she breaks up with me?? wtf (boring)
 

terrible attempt at humor

Re: First time having sex, Then she breaks up with me?? wtf (boring)
 

you tell her you're coming over to make her dinner and you pop in a tombstone?

you live next door to this chick?

Re: First time having sex, Then she breaks up with me?? wtf (boring)
 

Have a pube-trimming party:

Invite her. And her folks.

Re: First time having sex, Then she breaks up with me?? wtf (boring)
 

get drunk and call her