On not contacting Girls...
 

So here's the situation. My Girlfriend is out tonight with a group of people which includes a guy she once had a very brief thing with. She's also met this guy earlier in the day because he wanted to buy her a present because she helped him with some work. The present is expensive underwear. The guy is married, wealthy and lives in another city and theyt've been friends for a long time.

She's been very open and honest with me and told me all about why and I've been also very cool about it (despite thinking Underwear WTF? Truth is, She just likes sexy underwear). So I have no reason to distrust or assume anything, yet of course tonight, I'm feeling kind of edgy and hoping she'll get in touch.

The flip side of this, is that i'm very aware that even if I was complaining, all I'd really achieve is annoyance on both our parts.

So I just want OOTs reassurance that texting her would be a really sad move and suggested distractions- cause I'm not playing poker well!

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

Insecurity will ruin you.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

Contacting her: -EV
Alternatives: What are your hobbies?

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

"She just likes sexy underwear"? Are you kidding? While your girl seems to have no desire to be unfaithful from what you say here, this guy is trying to tap your chick. However, just let it be, don't text her or anything. If you need the assurance of hearing her (presumably while not getting railed), call her and make up some problem around the house that she can help you with.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

Just get drunk at home and pass out so you avoid losing more $$ and don't piss her off.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

so does the guy work in the underwear industry or something?

If a guy gave me underwear I'm pretty sure I would keep that a secret.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

I would be SO not cool with a dude buying underwear for my girl. Who cares what she likes, that guy is sending a message with that gift and that message is "I want to [censored] your girl" I think you're correct in feeling edgy.

If you know contacting her won't do any good, then don't do it, but I dunno, I think this raises some BIG red flags, especially if she's not weirded out by his gift.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

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What are your hobbies?

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The usual... porn, masturbation, philosphy, international politics.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

Why isn't your sexy neighbor or ex-girl friend over getting drunk and watching Cabin Fever with you?

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

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Just get drunk, [censored] her best friend, and call her.

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FYP
-Anqew

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What are your hobbies?

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The usual... porn, masturbation, philosphy, international politics.

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Same here, but I can never get past the first two.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

Whoah, buying your girl underwear is way way over the line man. It's not even [censored] close.

That being said, contacting her would be a mistake tonight but wow, that is definently not cool.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

Like DIDS pointed out earlier, What kind a douchbag buys another mans girlfriend sexy underwear?

What did she have to say about her gift?

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

[ QUOTE ]
I would be SO not cool with a dude buying underwear for my girl. Who cares what she likes, that guy is sending a message with that gift and that message is "I want to [censored] your girl" I think you're correct in feeling edgy.

If you know contacting her won't do any good, then don't do it, but I dunno, I think this raises some BIG red flags, especially if she's not weirded out by his gift.

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Yeah- Well I think he want's to [censored] her and to be honest he sounds like a total sleaze- but he's her friend and I see no benefit in complaining. I am wierded out by the underwear but what good would it do whining about it?

On the plus side, she's been honest with me, and no way do i want to make her feel bad about going out with her friends.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

britspin,

You're positive she's being honest with you? Like I said, my biggest issue would simply be that I feel like SHE should be freaked out by the gift. Does she at least understand why it would bother you?

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

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Like DIDS pointed out earlier, What kind a douchbag buys another mans girlfriend sexy underwear?

What did she have to say about her gift?

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When she told me about it I was insouicant due to alcohol, and later she told impressed she was that I was cool about it as a lot of people would be threatened.

At which point I found it hard to say "dammit, I was just drunk before and now I'm sober i'm threatened!"

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

Question, why weren't you invited to go out tonight?

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

brit,

I think it was considerate of the guy to buy her new underwear that he can keep so you won't have to see her panties in the hamper at your place after she's banged this dude.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

Wasn't invited out tonight as it's a group of friends who have a semi regular night out together. They all met on an internet forum and get together every few months. I'm not invited because it's their gang... wouldnt wnat to be invited really- it's her thing.

As for honesty, well, I kind of think if there was more to it, she'd be smarter not telling me, no? As he lives in another city, the only thing she could be dishonest about is what happens tonight- which is why I'm edgy.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

the key to lying (and not getting caught) is to stay as close to the truth as possible.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

The obvious question:

Is she wearing said new panties out to meet this guy?

Ray

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

This is crap anyway you slice it. Ok say its innocent. (lol right but whatever) It's still insensitive as hell. Her not realizing or not caring about how a gift like this from another guy would make you feel is a big red flag.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

[ QUOTE ]
brit,

I think it was considerate of the guy to buy her new underwear that he can keep so you won't have to see her panties in the hamper at your place after she's banged this dude.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL. OK guys. If you think she's seriously likely to get tapped and thus make me totally paranoid, please at least give me some strategies for tomorrow.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
brit,

I think it was considerate of the guy to buy her new underwear that he can keep so you won't have to see her panties in the hamper at your place after she's banged this dude.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL. OK guys. If you think she's seriously likely to get tapped and thus make me totally paranoid, please at least give me some strategies for tomorrow.

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Dump her. There is no redeeming this. She is a girl who will let other guys buy them underwear and she likes to rub it in her boyfriend's nose too.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

Why can't he buy her a sweater? Take umbrage man. Don't do anything tonight, but tomorrow let her know that you don't feel comfortable with another guy buying her sexy underwear. If she thinks that is an unreasonable request, then she is a ho-bag.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

"Here's a pretty present, some sexy panties to wrap your beautiful ass and vagina in."

The guy is seriously disrespecting you with this move. Your girl thinks you're a puss for letting this slide. Don't be a nice guy here.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
brit,

I think it was considerate of the guy to buy her new underwear that he can keep so you won't have to see her panties in the hamper at your place after she's banged this dude.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL. OK guys. If you think she's seriously likely to get tapped and thus make me totally paranoid, please at least give me some strategies for tomorrow.

[/ QUOTE ]

Watch Baby Boy then do the smell test on her...

...although in the movie it's her doing it on him.

Honestly tough situation, and it's probably not too late to tell her you're uncomfortable even though you thought /said you weren't. Ask her what she would do in your situation. That should get her to think about the spot she's putting you in.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
brit,

I think it was considerate of the guy to buy her new underwear that he can keep so you won't have to see her panties in the hamper at your place after she's banged this dude.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL. OK guys. If you think she's seriously likely to get tapped and thus make me totally paranoid, please at least give me some strategies for tomorrow.

[/ QUOTE ]

Talk to her, explain why you are uncomfortable. If she doesn't understand, regardless of what happened last night, she's got a [censored] up point of view and you need to consider if you can deal with that.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

How long has this chick been your girlfriend?

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They all met on an internet forum

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Also, I wouldn't trust anyone who frequents an internet forum.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

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How long has this chick been your girlfriend?

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They all met on an internet forum

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Also, I wouldn't trust anyone who frequents an internet forum.

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lol. About three months.

previous exciting background? We got together after she spilit up with her husband after she discovered he'd been unfaithful. She's quite aware fo how much infidelity hurts. It was in the intervening period that she had a one night stand with this guy.

We started out as [censored] buddies, and moved on to a "proper" relationship in the new year.

Oh, and my last girlfriend was her sister. So, there's quite a lot for us both to get wierded out about. I'm trying to be mature and adult, but this does bother me a little.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

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How long has this dude been boning your girlfriend?


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FYP, sort of.

Do not let this slide.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

Even if nothing's going on, she's a total bitch for accepting the gift. Like everyone else has said, it's a totally inappropriate thing for the guy to give her. He's laughing at your spineless ass right now. She either knows this and doesn't care (making her a bitch), or DOESN'T know (making her [censored] stupid). Dump her.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

Don't listen to any of these guys. Most of them are being sarcastic or trying to rouse trouble. I [censored] up my first relationship because of my insecurity and bothering her about it.

Keep yourself busy doing something. Don't think about it. Look, if she wanted to [censored] him, there's nothing you can do to stop her. She is being open and honest with you. So he bought her sexy underwear? Yeah, he probably is trying to get into her pants. Send him a thank you note. Say you enjoyed seeing her in it, right before you took it off and ravaged her.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

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It was in the intervening period that she had a one night stand with this guy.

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Was the guy married when they had their fling? If so, uh oh, better get MAACO.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

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Even if nothing's going on, she's a total bitch for accepting the gift. Like everyone else has said, it's a totally inappropriate thing for the guy to give her. He's laughing at your spineless ass right now. She either knows this and doesn't care (making her a bitch), or DOESN'T know (making her [censored] stupid). Dump her.

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Got to say, I'm taken aback by the unanimity of OOT on this.

While I certainly think he's out of order, don't you think you are being a bit harsh on her? I mean, the immediate assumption that she is either laughing at me, treatimg me like an idiot or is a stupid bitch seems a little over the top. Maybe she just didn't want to be rude to a friend?

Having said that I think I do need to make clear that this guy needs to respect some boundaries.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

k,

I bought her the sexy underwear because she said she wanted to wear something special tonight when she gives me my birthday present.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

The fact that she has dealt with a partner cheating should make her understand your concern. Talk to her about it tomorrow and tell her how you feel. If she is unsympathetic, its only been 3 months, move on.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

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[ QUOTE ]
It was in the intervening period that she had a one night stand with this guy.

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Was the guy married when they had their fling? If so, uh oh, better get MAACO.

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I have no idea what MAACO means, but yeah, he was. Like I say, I think he sounds like a [censored], but i'm willing to suspend judgement as he's her friend.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

are you effin kidding me? Another guy buys YOUR girlfriend expensive underwear and she's going out with him tonight without you? What part of this remotely acceptable or apropriate?

Godd job on being a total wuss.

Re: On not contacting Girls...
 

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Maybe she just didn't want to be rude to a friend?

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Life's too short too waste on chicks that aren't worth it.

If she just didn't want to be rude, she should have told you that. And then she should have thrown them away. If she had any respect for you and the relationship at all, she wouldn't have accepted them. Dump her and find someone who will respect you enough to not put you through crap like that. This should never have been an issue.