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Dear Bison: March 2006
OOTers and others,
It took me a few days of silent contemplation to muster the courage, sensitivity and contempt necessary to launch our 43rd annual Dear Bison thread. I've been spending some incredibly frustrating time in the Science, Math, Philo and Politics forums, so if you've got any sort of that kind of question, please ask - that crap is right in my wheelhouse right now. Some disclaimers: I don't predict the future. If you want to ask a supertough question and are too embarrassed to let OOT know that you suffer from fortnightly impotence unless you feast on the blood of Christian babies, register a gimmick account. God is once again ready to play dice with the universe, and this time it's table stakes. Have at it. |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Dear Bison,
What's your personal off-the-record opinion on the new GDrive? |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Bison,
I'm having difficulty impregnating the wife (not due to lack of effort). Approaching the 3rd year of trying. Aside from outsourcing, any suggestions? |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Dear bison,
I just clicked on that link to a picture of Kate Moss and some virus infected my computer at work. Am I going to get fired? Cordially, highlife |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Dear Bison,
Country fried steak for dinner tonight. Side = Mashed potatoes or French fries? |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
What's your personal off-the-record opinion on the new GDrive?
No. |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Dear Bison,
Doesn't being in a boy band make Drew Lachey a semi-professional dancer? Should he have been allowed as a contestant on Dancing with the Stars? |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Bison, I can't make any more decisions today. Should we go to the midget's Vegas thing or not. If you say yes I'll book a ticket tomorrow.
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Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
dear bison,
how often should one c-walk? like all the time? also, on a scale of 1-10 how street is google? |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Dear Bison,
What do you sell at Google? A brief job description, if you will. |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
I'm having difficulty impregnating the wife (not due to lack of effort). Approaching the 3rd year of trying.
Aside from outsourcing, any suggestions? Dear Casper, See a fertility expert. There are a ton of reasons why couples have trouble conceiving, many of them requiring little more than several thousands of dollars to treat. |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Dear Bison,
What are that 5 skills that you have that you can teach to us OOT'iots? Waiting, -Kidd |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
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Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Dear Bison,
Can I do it? (and by it I dont mean above) Thanks GG |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison, Doesn't being in a boy band make Drew Lachey a semi-professional dancer? Should he have been allowed as a contestant on Dancing with the Stars? [/ QUOTE ] Which band is this? |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
I just clicked on that link to a picture of Kate Moss and some virus infected my computer at work. Am I going to get fired?
Dear highlife, I don't predict the future, but firing for this alone is highly doubtful. |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Country fried steak for dinner tonight. Side = Mashed potatoes or French fries?
Dear dmk, PO TA TOES. |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Doesn't being in a boy band make Drew Lachey a semi-professional dancer? Should he have been allowed as a contestant on Dancing with the Stars?
Dear 4_2, Yes and yes. |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
dear bison,
i have a cat. she's still a kitten really. recently, i left her with my parents when i had to go away for a bit. my parents let her roam outside and come and go as she pleased. now that she's back living with me in my tiny 16th floor apartment, she spends all day standing at the windows and meowing pathetically. is it cruel of me to keep her under these circumstances? should i let my parents have her? they'd love to take her, so it would be no imposistion on them. |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Bison, I can't make any more decisions today. Should we go to the midget's Vegas thing or not. If you say yes I'll book a ticket tomorrow.
Dear Dave, Book it. If you don't go, I don't know who I'd criticize people with. |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Bison,
2 part question, but one answer could apply to both: 1. Should I try to publish more of my writing? If so, why? I write poems, so they will not make me any money, nor do I have any wish to be a professor... 2. Do animals have souls? Bless you for fighting on in SMP, as I have given up there, --GA |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] Dear Bison, Doesn't being in a boy band make Drew Lachey a semi-professional dancer? Should he have been allowed as a contestant on Dancing with the Stars? [/ QUOTE ] Which band is this? [/ QUOTE ] He was in 98 Degrees. |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Dear Bison, Doesn't being in a boy band make Drew Lachey a semi-professional dancer? Should he have been allowed as a contestant on Dancing with the Stars? [/ QUOTE ] Which band is this? [/ QUOTE ] He was in 98 Degrees. [/ QUOTE ] No he wasn't. ArrgH! Yes he is! |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
how often should one c-walk? like all the time?
Dear Piz, C-walking is a chance to show your love for the Crips. There's never a bad time. also, on a scale of 1-10 how street is google? Google is a four. There's a little too much use of the term 'chillax'. |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Dear Bison,
No question really. Just a "things are good with me, hope they are with you too" post. Me |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] Dear Bison, Doesn't being in a boy band make Drew Lachey a semi-professional dancer? Should he have been allowed as a contestant on Dancing with the Stars? [/ QUOTE ] Which band is this? [/ QUOTE ] 98 Degrees edit -- added awesome link |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Dear Bison,
This may sound like gutter trash but here goes. Which do you prefer, bison or moose meat? I've had moose before in a spaghetti sauce and it was very good. I never tried bison before. Trying to impress the GF. Your response is crucial to my future success. |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Dear Bison, Doesn't being in a boy band make Drew Lachey a semi-professional dancer? Should he have been allowed as a contestant on Dancing with the Stars? [/ QUOTE ] Which band is this? [/ QUOTE ] 98 Degrees. [/ QUOTE ] Yea I thought that was Nick, but it seems it is both? |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Yeah both.
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Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
What are that 5 skills that you have that you can teach to us OOT'iots?
I went to a liberal arts college, so I can teach the seven liberal arts: Grammar, Logic, Rhetoric, Arithmetic, Geometry, Music, and Astronomy. I can teach none of them well. |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
dear bison,
how hard is it to start over in life, assuming you failed out of college 3 times, 0 friends as you have [censored] them all over at one point in time, have literally no money, and failed at your attempt to play poker for a living? |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Can you do this?
Dear Pat, Nope. I was always more of a Ken guy myself. |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Dear Bison,
Are you going to Bryce's 21st birthday bash at Chuckie Cheese? If so, what are you giving him? |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Bison,
Long time listener, first time caller. Been with the gf for a year and a half, things going great etc etc. I am wondering if in your "professional" opinion if moving in together in a new city would be detriment to the relationship? Her graduate school and my job are in the same city. We currently see each other daily and usually are at one person's apt or the others at all time when together. Good plan or no? Russ |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Can I do it?
Dear Gamble, Yes. Long answer: You're carrying the equivalent of a full grown man in extra weight. It's both sad and very unhealthy. You can be happy eating less, drinking less and being less determined to die in a blaze of Belushi-Farleyesque glory. You don't have to pity yourself or feel you're pathetic, but you should realize that a thinner, healthier you will feel, for a dozen different reasons, more hopeful, energetic and at peace. |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
[ QUOTE ]
Bison, I'm having difficulty impregnating the wife (not due to lack of effort). Approaching the 3rd year of trying. Aside from outsourcing, any suggestions? [/ QUOTE ] Step #1 will be to get your boys tested. You might as well go ahead and do that now. Simple process, I need not elaborate. |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
What is a cool exotic dish to cook for a girL? we will go get the ingredients together/cook together but I will be the cook. No seafood, we both like meat, spicy is fine, and I want to be able to buy all this stuff at albertsons or Lunardis.
if you can include a recipe/instructions or refer one, bonus points - otherwise i'll just look one up on epicurious |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Step #1 will be to get your boys tested. You might as well go ahead and do that now. Simple process, I need not elaborate.
From what I understand, they like to have the sample on the first exam, so before you do anything, masturbate into a paper bag. |
Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
Lunardi's has a good butcher. Get lamp chops, slather them in dijon mustard. Dredge in bread crumbs. Sear in olive oil and butter, finish in oven.
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Re: Dear Bison: March 2006
dear bison,
should i murder my ex-wife? love, PokerBob |
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