Realationship advice
 

So I have been dating this girl for about a year and things are ok. I don't know I love her but she has made it clear she loves me. She is a good "home body" and a driven person. I am not too attracted to her, but I don't really mind too much. By 'home body' I mean that she is good around the house, cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc.

She is a grad student, works hard and is 23 going on 24. She recently moved 40 min away and we don't see eachother that much anymore.

When we see eachother I am not really excited so much but just think, a friend is coming in that I can have sex with and hang out with her and her friends.

Anyway, she was gone this weekend and I ran into a old friend. She is 19 and is the younger sister of one of my highschool friends. (i am 21 ftw). She is exciting, attractive, friendly...etc. She hit on me at the bar and I kind of went with it. Ending up going back to her place and playing drinking games after bar close. Got drunk and stayed over. Made out and got to 2nd base but I stopped things before they got any further. She definatly made it clear I could do anything I wanted, but I stopped non the less bc of my gf. She didn't know I had a girlfriend but ended up finding out the next morning. Long story. Any way she seemed pretty cool with it and still made it clear she wanted to hang out more. She called the next day I and I got the butterflies talking to her and that is a feeling I havent' had in a while.

So the next night she calls and wants to hang out. (already fully knowing that I have a gf). I got excited and we meet up at one of my friends parties. I meet up with her and we walked over there. Talked the whole way, played beer pong, and when we left I walked her home. But we walked by here place and instead just walked around a bit and talked.

Now here is the curveball. We start to talk about "how hard it was for her to be single and that there was this boy that she is interested in, "louis". WTF? So now I am thinking that she is one of thoes people that just doesn't want to sleep alone on the weekends and I was just the guy for that weekend. The funny thing was after we got done talking about Louis she invits me up. We hung out but I just couldn't stay. So I say I gtg and made up some [censored] reason and she says stuff like. "wow i just got rejected." So wtf.

Do I stay with my gf bc this was just a random thing and I don't exactally know the motives of the mistress? Or do I break up with the gf bc I feel bad for "cheating" and I could have a shot with this other girl, girl that gives me the butterflies.
She is sexy.


P.s. can't stop thinking about the mistress.
P.s. Was drunk the whole weekend, as was she.
P.s. My gf was in another zip code.

P.s bc I don't know the rules here in OOT and usually post in bbv.

*

Edit/MH: Photos removed at request of OP.

Re: Realationship advice
 

Mistress AINEC. Westside 4 lyfe.

Re: Realationship advice
 

you, gf, mistress and louis could have one of them swingin relationships?

Re: Realationship advice
 

In the future, all relationship advice threads should go directly into stabn's inbox. Crosspost to ATF if necessary.

Re: Realationship advice
 

need serious advice.

Re: Realationship advice
 

ATF?

Re: Realationship advice
 

your gf loves her and you don't love her or even care about her that much. get rid sooner rather than later

Re: Realationship advice
 

Option 3: Break up with your girlfriend because you obviously don't really care about her.

EDIT: I started this thread under a gimmick account a while ago, when I first realized that my pending wedding was completely wrong:

http://tinyurl.com/2h8vgv

I also wrote about breaking up with my fiance soon after under my normal account.

The moral of the story: Break up with her now, as you're clearly no committed to continuing the relationship, but you fear being alone it seems...

Re: Realationship advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
need serious advice.

[/ QUOTE ]
dump her, she's cheating on you.

Re: Realationship advice
 

but I do care about her. I just don't know if I see a future with here. she is talking about future and stuff bc she is 24... Some times I think I am just staying with her bc it feels comfortable but then I think about how nice she is and how I care about her. Just feels like a "sister" sometimes.

Re: Realationship advice
 

Tell mistress to pull the tags/tapes off her warm up clothes before wearing them in public.

Re: Realationship advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
but I do care about her. I just don't know if I see a future with here. she is talking about future and stuff bc she is 24... Some times I think I am just staying with her bc it feels comfortable but then I think about how nice she is and how I care about her. Just feels like a "sister" sometimes.

[/ QUOTE ]
Scroll up and read my edit. Then trust my advice.

Re: Realationship advice
 

Mistress is cute, gf is homely. 6.5 vs 4
Also, you don't seem interested in gf. Is this math hard for you? It's cool that you didn't cheat on her, but you should definitely break up if you aren't excited to see her and you don't see each other much. Just tell her you lost interest in her and she doesn't give you enough scooby snacks.

Re: Realationship advice
 

Also. I have never broken up with a girl. I always stay with them too long and they end up breaking up with me. I am 5/5 with them breaking up with me. I have no clue how to do it and I just feel really really really bad doing it. So I guess I am asking as well how do I do it and how do I stay friends with her. I know this is a total noob question and it is asked almost every day in our culture but I never really paid attention to the answers. Any advice for this specific situation about how I could go about breaking up with her?

Re: Realationship advice
 

Dude, if it's not amazing and easy and perfect when you're young and life is simple, it's never going to work out in the long run.

If it's not going to work out in the long run, dumping her now >>>>>>>>>>>>&g t;>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> breaking up later.

If you actively seek out cheating on your girlfriend OBVIOUSLY your relationship not is worth staying in.

This is so incredibly obvious.

Re: Realationship advice
 

How did your past girlfriends break up with you?

Re: Realationship advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
Made out and got to 2nd base

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
It's cool that you didn't cheat on her,

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL

Re: Realationship advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
How did your past girlfriends break up with you?

[/ QUOTE ]
good point. but that always ended up in us never talking to one another.

Re: Realationship advice
 

FWIW i can't believe you posted pictures along with what you have said. Aren't you worried you girlfriend might somehow stumble on to this?

Re: Realationship advice
 

I wasn't activly cheating on her. She stopped me in the bar and was like. aren't you....I know you....(I didn't reconize her at first.) So I just kind of went with it.

Re: Realationship advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
FWIW i can't believe you posted pictures along with what you have said. Aren't you worried you girlfriend might somehow stumble on to this?

[/ QUOTE ]
no

gimmick account. none of any friends read this forum. never the less I should delete pics. Will when I get back from class.

Re: Realationship advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
Also. I have never broken up with a girl. I always stay with them too long and they end up breaking up with me. I am 5/5 with them breaking up with me. I have no clue how to do it and I just feel really really really bad doing it. So I guess I am asking as well how do I do it and how do I stay friends with her. I know this is a total noob question and it is asked almost every day in our culture but I never really paid attention to the answers. Any advice for this specific situation about how I could go about breaking up with her?

[/ QUOTE ]

Haha i think you are not the only one in this boat. I've been in more than one unhappy relationship which i've stayed in just because I didn't know how to break up. My solution was usually to leave the country.

Re: Realationship advice
 

I would go with the 19 year old. Life is too short.

Re: Realationship advice
 

How the [censored] is this even close? Go with the girl that you actually like and find attractive, not the one who is the safe bet.

Re: Realationship advice
 

anyway, everyone here is pretty much giving you the correct advice, but I'll just say it again.

You should break up with your current girlfriend. You aren't doing her any favors by staying with her. You are probably worried about hurting her by breaking up with her, but the truth is you are doing more damage by staying with her.

Confronting her and breaking up is hard. You shouldn't just wing it, go in with a plan of attack, rehearse what you are going to say, and then just do it.

You'll probably botch it up all to hell and it will end in tears all around, but that's how it goes.

Re: Realationship advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
I wasn't activly cheating on her. She stopped me in the bar and was like. aren't you....I know you....(I didn't reconize her at first.) So I just kind of went with it.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
So the next night she calls and wants to hang out. (already fully knowing that I have a gf). I got excited and we meet up at one of my friends parties.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ummmmm yes you were. I'm not berating you for it but you knew what you were getting yourself into. Dump the gf, next.

Re: Realationship advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Made out and got to 2nd base

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
It's cool that you didn't cheat on her,

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL

[/ QUOTE ]

A little boob grope and tongue isn't cheating! Actually I meant it's cool that he doesn't want to hurt her and didn't go further because of that. Though it is odd that he went home with the other girl given those motivations. Personally I would have had sex and then just never told, assuming I was willing to make out. Once you cross the line, whats the difference?

Re: Realationship advice
 

I just went through exactly the same thing. I dated a girl for 3 years, i loved her but wasnt in love with her. I really didnt enjoy spending time with her that much. The sex life was stale. I stayed with her for so long because i knew it would hurt, and i knew it was not the "safe" route. I should have done it much sooner honestly. Dump her, dont stay with someone just because it is safe and easy.

Re: Realationship advice
 

Is it likely youll bump into your gf if you dump her?

The other girl is obviously fitter, but also just a bit of fun.

Its clear that the gf situation isn't going to work long term and 19 is way to young to be tied down.

Re: Realationship advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
I just went through exactly the same thing. I dated a girl for 3 years, i loved her but wasnt in love with her. I really didnt enjoy spending time with her that much. The sex life was stale. I stayed with her for so long because i knew it would hurt, and i knew it was not the "safe" route. I should have done it much sooner honestly. Dump her, dont stay with someone just because it is safe and easy.

[/ QUOTE ]

how did you go about dumping her?

Re: Realationship advice
 

[ QUOTE ]


Confronting her and breaking up is hard. You shouldn't just wing it, go in with a plan of attack, rehearse what you are going to say, and then just do it.

You'll probably botch it up all to hell and it will end in tears all around, but that's how it goes.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am totally lost and wouldn't know where to begin. I don't want to do the "I think we need time off" or "I am confuzzzzzed" but something more genuine. LOL at asking other people about what is genuine for me, but this is really boggling my mind and I just have no clue what to do.

Re: Realationship advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
Do I stay with my gf bc this was just a random thing and I don't exactally know the motives of the mistress? Or do I break up with the gf bc I feel bad for "cheating" and I could have a shot with this other girl, girl that gives me the butterflies.


[/ QUOTE ]

How about, "break up with girlfriend because you don't really love her and she's just someone to have sex with?"



[ QUOTE ]
P.s. My gf was in another zip code.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ummm, so what? This is completely irrelevant.


Either tell your girlfriend you cheated on her and you're sorry, or break up with her.

Re: Realationship advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
It's cool that you didn't cheat on her

[/ QUOTE ]

Uhh, did you even read the OP? He said he made out with this other chick and got to "2nd base." Would your girlfriend be happy if you did this to her?

Re: Realationship advice
 

it's only cheating when the baby pops out

Re: Realationship advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
It's cool that you didn't cheat on her

[/ QUOTE ]

Uhh, did you even read the OP? He said he made out with this other chick and got to "2nd base." Would your girlfriend be happy if you did this to her?

[/ QUOTE ]

It's pretty obvious he is invoking the 50 mile rule.

Re: Realationship advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
So I guess I am asking as well how do I do it and how do I stay friends with her. I know this is a total noob question and it is asked almost every day in our culture but I never really paid attention to the answers.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's a noob question because most normal people have enough good friends that they don't need to remain friends with someone who they used be in a romantic relationship with. My best friends are people I have known for 10+ years. Why do I need to be buddy-buddy with some girl I dated for two months? It's over...move on.

Re: Realationship advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
It's pretty obvious he is a moron with the social awareness of a home-schooled kid

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

Re: Realationship advice
 

This has to be some weird troll cuz nobody could possibly think that it's ok to post pics directly from facebook and not realize that you can't edit posts after like 5 minutes, right?

Right?

Re: Realationship advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I just went through exactly the same thing. I dated a girl for 3 years, i loved her but wasnt in love with her. I really didnt enjoy spending time with her that much. The sex life was stale. I stayed with her for so long because i knew it would hurt, and i knew it was not the "safe" route. I should have done it much sooner honestly. Dump her, dont stay with someone just because it is safe and easy.

[/ QUOTE ]

how did you go about dumping her?

[/ QUOTE ]

I told her that i wasnt attracted to her anymore. Also that if we settled for what was comfortable neither of us would be happy. Basically i made it seem how it was, which was better for both of us. She can go find the right man for her, and i can find the right woman for me. When you arent that compatible with someone there is no reason to force yourself to make it work. Life is too short.

Re: Realationship advice
 

dude, if you cant figure this out then it doesnt matter what advice anyone gives you, you are hopeless.

hint: break up with the GF you arent into