Wife offers deal
 

My wife has offered me 1k for a strictly tourny bankrool. There are small, $40-$50, daily tournys here in LA as well as $100's and bigger. The caveat (isn't there always a caveat?) is that after the original 1k is re-paid, 50% of any prize money goes to household expenses and the rest is mine. The $40's pay about 2k for a win. As I currently pay my own buy-ins it appears to be a win-win, but the deal seems to be a longterm loser as it impacts my expected roi using my own money. I only have time to play a tourny, maybe 2 a week. Am I overthinking this? Anyone have thoughts?

Re: Wife offers deal
 

thought 1- dont get married

thought 2- keep money that she doesnt know about and play whatever u want with it

Re: Wife offers deal
 

What do you mean by the "rest of the winnings" is yours? That makes no sense to me at all. My wife and I share everything. There is no money that is mine and that is her's (maybe that means it is all her's...hmmm?).

Anyhow. This seems like an odd situation indeed. Best of luck with your marriage & poker.

Sherman

Re: Wife offers deal
 

tell her you always lose and then keep the money, buy a porsche and tell her you deal drugs

Re: Wife offers deal
 

Yeah I always thought that in marriage it was "whats mine is yours" and vice versa.

Maybe his wife is the main provider of the household and gives him an allowance ala Steadman(sp?) and Oprah.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

lol @ allowance, it's like that ancient thread about this guy who gives his wife pocket money and keep everything else

that was a classic thread

Re: Wife offers deal
 

So your wife is backing you? Who pays household expenses now? Seems like a crazy arrangement to me. Also it is really funny to me that you are worried about hurting your long term ROI, when the alternative is being forced to share 1/2 your winnings with your wife.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

fold

Re: Wife offers deal
 

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My wife has offered me 1k for a strictly tourny bankrool. There are small, $40-$50, daily tournys here in LA as well as $100's and bigger. The caveat (isn't there always a caveat?) is that after the original 1k is re-paid, 50% of any prize money goes to household expenses and the rest is mine. The $40's pay about 2k for a win. As I currently pay my own buy-ins it appears to be a win-win, but the deal seems to be a longterm loser as it impacts my expected roi using my own money. I only have time to play a tourny, maybe 2 a week. Am I overthinking this? Anyone have thoughts?

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I'll come out of the MTTc woodwork to say...

Trust me, this is a horrible idea. Just have your own Poker bankroll. If the two of you aren't comfortable with it, then don't have a poker bankroll.

Making logistics like this will drive you nuts, there is 0% chance she'll understand the swings, or in general, the nature of maintaining a poker bankroll.

If it's important to you, let her know that and make her compromise by having it as a hobby of yours. If she can't make that compromise, then maybe it's not right for your relationship.

My two cents.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

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So your wife is backing you? Who pays household expenses now? Seems like a crazy arrangement to me. Also it is really funny to me that you are worried about hurting your long term ROI, when the alternative is being forced to share 1/2 your winnings with your wife.

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wp sir

Re: Wife offers deal
 

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Trust me, this is a horrible idea. Just have your own Poker bankroll. If the two of you aren't comfortable with it, then don't have a poker bankroll.


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Right on Nez. This is what my wife and I do. But if I cash it out to quit being part of the BR, it is our money, not just mine.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

Wow, I thought I was whipped, this makes me feel better.

Also, for anyone who's married, I'd advise using 3 checking accounts, a joint one for bills and such, and separate accounts for each of you for your own stuff. It's not so much that you have your "own" money, or that you're trying to hide purchases you make, it's just that a lot of trouble can be avoided if you aren't pouring over every little purchase that the other person makes.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

I shoulda been more clear on our finances (the marriage is fine, smartasses). I make 3x what she does and pay most expenses/bills. We're more than comfortable and poker is my only real hobby. I make about 15k a year(net)playing tournys. That being said, my bankroll management sucks and I'm sometimes stuck playing the $40 and $50 tournys as opposed to the $150 and $250's. My thought is to accept the deal as a supplemental BR outside of the one I "maintain" on my own. I like the idea as it creates a partnership and by extension, establishes a vested interest in my success, but I worry that by playing with her money, at those buy-ins, will in the longterm lower my yearly ROI.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

wow if this sort of thing ever happens to me somebody punch me in the face

Re: Wife offers deal
 

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wow if this sort of thing ever happens to me somebody punch me in the face

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you have my word [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Re: Wife offers deal
 

You should negotiate a better deal, how much is 1K going to help when you're trying to play $150-$200 MTT's? Tell her you'll take 5K at a 40-60% split in your favor, or the 1K at a 20-80% split. Basically you should low-ball the [censored] out of her, and if she isn't interested no big deal, this isn't a great deal for you anyway.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

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Also, for anyone who's married, I'd advise using 3 checking accounts, a joint one for bills and such, and separate accounts for each of you for your own stuff. It's not so much that you have your "own" money, or that you're trying to hide purchases you make, it's just that a lot of trouble can be avoided if you aren't pouring over every little purchase that the other person makes.

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Re: Wife offers deal
 

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I like the idea as it creates a partnership and by extension, establishes a vested interest in my success, but I worry that by playing with her money, at those buy-ins, will in the longterm lower my yearly ROI.

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You should suggest also that you two only get to have sex on the nights when you finish ITM, and that will create even more vested interest and more motivation on your side. And when you go busto, she might even extend your credit/"bankroll", cause she has needs too.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

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I like the idea as it creates a partnership and by extension, establishes a vested interest in my success, but I worry that by playing with her money, at those buy-ins, will in the longterm lower my yearly ROI.

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You should suggest also that you two only get to have sex on the nights when you finish ITM, and that will create even more vested interest and more motivation on your side. And when you go busto, she might even extend your credit/"bankroll", cause she has needs too.

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tell her if you finish ITM, then you get to finish IHM.

and Dunkman is right, 3 separate accounts is 100% the way to go.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

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Also, for anyone who's married, I'd advise using 3 checking accounts, a joint one for bills and such, and separate accounts for each of you for your own stuff. It's not so much that you have your "own" money, or that you're trying to hide purchases you make, it's just that a lot of trouble can be avoided if you aren't pouring over every little purchase that the other person makes.

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I'd advise against this advice and make all fiscal decisions together. But I know others like it this way better.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

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Also, for anyone who's married, I'd advise using 3 checking accounts, a joint one for bills and such, and separate accounts for each of you for your own stuff. It's not so much that you have your "own" money, or that you're trying to hide purchases you make, it's just that a lot of trouble can be avoided if you aren't pouring over every little purchase that the other person makes.

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I'd advise against this advice and make all fiscal decisions together. But I know others like it this way better.

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Assuming that the middle account is appropriately seeded to fund all bills/savings/etc, why in the WORLD do you want to have to explain your $70 round of golf, or worry about her $120 shoes, or try to explain why you need money to fund your br?

my golf/poker/jiggly room funds come from a totally separate fund source than her shoe/clothing funds. neither of us have to miss out b/c of the other loading up. neither of us have to call the other to make sure there is $$ in the acct before purchasing.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

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wow if this sort of thing ever happens to me somebody punch me in the face

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How bout I will let you fall on your face in a street in Vegas while leaving a taxi if this ever happens to you.... oh wait.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

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Also, for anyone who's married, I'd advise using 3 checking accounts, a joint one for bills and such, and separate accounts for each of you for your own stuff. It's not so much that you have your "own" money, or that you're trying to hide purchases you make, it's just that a lot of trouble can be avoided if you aren't pouring over every little purchase that the other person makes.

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I'd advise against this advice and make all fiscal decisions together. But I know others like it this way better.

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Assuming that the middle account is appropriately seeded to fund all bills/savings/etc, why in the WORLD do you want to have to explain your $70 round of golf, or worry about her $120 shoes, or try to explain why you need money to fund your br?

my golf/poker/jiggly room funds come from a totally separate fund source than her shoe/clothing funds. neither of us have to miss out b/c of the other loading up. neither of us have to call the other to make sure there is $$ in the acct before purchasing.

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Because neither of us make purchases that are unnecessary. And there is always money in the account. And having/managing 3 bank accounts in retarded IMO.

Having 3 accounts can also lead to jealously issues (e.g. If she makes more than me and we both contribute the same amount to the "shared" account, she always has more money than me and I am always broke). That doesn't sound like love to me. But as I said, some like it one way others like differently.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

I think it shows all the young guys how much a factor money becomes in your marriage. I'd wish for everyone to understand this ahead of time & make sure you're on the same page as your partner, no matter how you plan to handle these issues.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

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I think it shows all the young guys how much a factor money becomes in your marriage. I'd wish for everyone to understand this ahead of time & make sure you're on the same page as your partner, no matter how you plan to handle these issues.

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QFT.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

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Having 3 accounts can also lead to jealously issues (e.g. If she makes more than me and we both contribute the same amount to the "shared" account, she always has more money than me and I am always broke). That doesn't sound like love to me. But as I said, some like it one way others like differently.

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Why would you both contribute equally to the shared account? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Re: Wife offers deal
 

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Having 3 accounts can also lead to jealously issues (e.g. If she makes more than me and we both contribute the same amount to the "shared" account, she always has more money than me and I am always broke). That doesn't sound like love to me. But as I said, some like it one way others like differently.

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Why would you both contribute equally to the shared account? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

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Some do it that way. The other option is for each person to put 50% of his/her income into the "shared" account. However, that means 1 person is putting more $ into the shared account, which again, he/she might not see as fair and cause more jealously etc.

Edit: Of course there is another option, you each put X - Y dollars into the shared account where X is your income and Y is an amount set to be equal for both parties.

For example, she makes 2K a month, you make 3K. You each put $200 away for personal use and the rest goes to the shared account. But then you are still contributing more.

I don't know, there really is no "perfect" answer to these money questions. Just whatever works best for those invested.

Sherman

Re: Wife offers deal
 

Easiest solution:

Get a pre-nup so the bitch can't take your money no matter what.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

We put all of our money into the shared account the pull from it equally. I make more than she does, but it's all just "our" money. I joke that she does more good in her job than I do, so she's saving our souls while I'm making the money. I agree that if you somehow equate how much one partner makes with how much they get to spend it's a recipe for disaster. We each know how much each other spends, that's not the point. The point that I'm not always having a good day, and sometimes seeing "Nordstrom's $800" is going to piss me off. I trust that she's spending money responsibly, but I don't want to see every purchase she makes. We each get different amounts of utility from different things, and what I think is worth $300 she may not. Most days I'm in a mood where I understand that, but I'd just rather not have to deal with it.

Also, love is what makes you decide to get married, not what makes the marriage succeed. It takes a lot of work and planning to keep from killing each other and to keep the relationship fun and fulfilling.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

Wow, marriage sounds awful after reading this thread. So complicated.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

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fold

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Yeah, get your balls out of your wifes purse.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

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Wow, marriage sounds awful after reading this thread. So complicated.

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I agree, which makes me think people are HORRIBLE at thinking through the long term problems that could arise from the way they make decisions like this. trust me Nat, my marriage is no where near this complicated.

In this case, I really can't figure out why the hell you need to do something like this. At the end of the day, you are using your (plural) money, and spending the winnings on your family. Why do you need to make it seem like a complicated staking arrangement. Just set some more money aside for poker, and it all gets simpler.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

Personally, I think Sherman is way out there with his arrangement. However, several of my friends do it the same way (married couple shares everything). Do whatever works for you obviously. For me, having a shared account and a separate account for each partner causes way less friction. And no, in this day and age this is obviously no hassle to manage.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

OK, I had typed a long post explaining why OP should NOT go with wifey's suggestion (last thing you need is more pressure to do well in poker), and why he needs to learn to manage his roll by himself (you don't want a person with a non-poker related vested interest running your roll).

The post got lost, and then came all this depressing stuff about mariage and money.

Guys, you're wrong, it's easy.

The point of mariage is to improve quality of life, not detract from it! So think about how you would manage your money as a single, and then do the same - just better - with your wife.

My life.

We have two (2) checking accounts (direct deposit) - and a budget.

It doesn't matter who pays what (as long as it's being paid). If I'm low on doe the Mouse gives me a check - and vice versa. It's in the budget.

The budget covers EVERYTHING - not only the boring stuff, but also her spa visits and shopping sprees, my poker (OK, after 4 years of winning that's of theoretical usage), my porn, my you name it - AND a decent allowance for each of us, not based on what we contribute, but on what we like to spend. Exactly like we would manage our money if we were two independent adults.

It has worked for 6 years now, and it still works.

[img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: Wife offers deal
 

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That being said, my bankroll management sucks and I'm sometimes stuck playing the $40 and $50 tournys as opposed to the $150 and $250's.

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Thank goodness she's there to stake you $1k so that you can adequately afford those $150-$250 tourneys.
No ROR there!!

Re: Wife offers deal
 

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wow if this sort of thing ever happens to me somebody punch me in the face

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The second a woman has an interest in you, I'll castrate you to save you the effort; got it....



I think I read this wrong.

Re: Wife offers deal
 

I can assure you that getting to keep 50% of your winnings is a much better deal than most of us married guys have. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Wife offers deal
 

You guys should consider doing what we do. I have my wife on a STRICT allowance.

I just give her all of my money, whenever I have any.

She sometimes gives some back.

OT

(ps - kidding, obv. Money is simply not an issue in our house. One account, both paycheques go in. What we need, we buy. What we want, if we can afford, we buy. Works for us, doesn't work for others. But making 'side-deals' with your wife, in my opinion, can lead to trouble long-term...)

Edit to add: The one place where a deal with your wife makes good sense is with the TIME it takes to play... That can be a sticky situation - especially once a baby comes into the mix...

Re: Wife offers deal
 

what are these $40 and $50 torneys you are referring to? You mean the dailys at hollywood park?

Re: Wife offers deal
 

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Edit to add: The one place where a deal with your wife makes good sense is with the TIME it takes to play... That can be a sticky situation - especially once a baby comes into the mix...

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Ah ha! This is a point I failed to make clear when I spoke of the significance of vested interest. With few days off and two kids, my poker time is limited. I can't be donkin around at the $40,$50's and expect to make the same money. I think MicroBob makes a good point with the 1k enabling me to consistantly play the bigger tournys and I forgot who said learning to manage better my own bankroll is best, but they're right.

For the record, via direct deposit, I give the wife 4k a month for expenses/bills. What's left is mine for personal use. Men need toys and beers with the boys. My wife gives me that and after 16+ years of marriage, it works great.

The $40-50's I was talking bout are the Bike Nooners/Nights.
Though I'm starting to like HG more and more. I play the bigger Hustler tournys every chance I get.