Moronic Driving Episodes
 

This past week I was parking my car around midnight. I have parked in this spot probably over 1000 times. I rolled into the spot and was slowing down to come to a stop but instead of hitting the brakes, I stepped on the gas and hit a wall. Don't ask me what I was thinking or what happened, because I have no idea. Damage = $1000.

I was completely sober but very tired. It still does not make me feel like less of an idiot. Please share similar stories to make me feel like less of a moron.

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Pretty sure you're supposed to do this at farmers markets.

An old lady did this through the front of a 7-11 I was in when I was a kid.

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In my defense, I park very close to the wall (<1 ft) anyways and did not hit it very hard, but at a bad angle.

I had not been in an accident my first 15 yrs of driving, but this past year I have been rear-ended twice and now this.

Actually, I have no defense. I feel like a 15 yr old female driver.

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Did you drive in front-first or reverse in?

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Reverse, scraped my rear side panel and bumper. Yes, I am teh ghey.

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It happens. I certainly drive better when drunk than when I'm really tired, not that I recommend doing either one.

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http://img453.imageshack.us/img453/3...elegbdfeg2.gif

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I think this is growing on me. Keep it up.


Crazy [censored] happens when you drive tired. My first year of driving, had maybe 4 friends in the car, and I lose focus and go about 45mph through a red light...As I'm approaching it, one of my friends goes "...yo man..." I snapped back to attention, and swerved left then right to avoid two different cars. It was pretty [censored] scary.

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I know a guy who is clumsy as hell and has all kind of mishaps you wouldn't think were possible. For example, he once opened the lid on his laptop and in doing so stuck his thumb through the screen.

Anyway, one day he was pulling into his apartment complex which he had lived in for at least 6 months and took a corner too wide and ran into a cement pillar. Totaled the car. Totally sober at the time.

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Now that I think about it, I once was in a very tight garage spot and cut it a little too close coming out. Ripped my right side mirror completely off, and to add insult to injury I didn't notice it until about 10 minutes later, at which point it took me 2-3 looks over to the right when changing lanes to realize it was missing.

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This is a little bit different, but it's not worth a new thread, so here it goes. There's a fairly busy road near me that used to have to lanes of traffic in each direction and no turn lane. So people turning left into businesses have to stop in a traffic lane to wait for their turn. Like so:

http://img505.imageshack.us/img505/4249/road1an0.png

Recently they did some construction, put in a new shopping complex and a light at one point along the road, and decided to repave the whole length of the road. When they painted it, imagine my dismay to find the new road looking like this:

http://img517.imageshack.us/img517/2429/road2xl1.png

Now there's one extra-wide driving lane in each direction - seriously, it's like Kramer adopted the road - and a turn lane. Is there any way the road isn't strictly worse off? Before, the two inside traffic lanes acted as defacto turn lanes, except you could travel in them when nobody in front of you was turning. Even worse, there's a Wendy's along there that gets slammed at lunch, and the drive through line spills out into traffic. No you can't just swing out into the other lane to go around.

Something is decidedly moronic, either me for not figuring out how the new lane structure is better, or the traffic engineer for making it worse.

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run,

Before they switched, was it impossibly hard to cross the 2 lanes of traffic when trying to make a left? That's the only reason I can come up with.

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No, sometimes during lunch or evening rush hour you might have to wait a bit. Even if it was, all that traffic would now be squeezed down into one lane, so I don't see how any tiny marginal benefit from that would outweigh the huge pain in the ass it has become.

A similar situation that really used to irk me was near my parent's house. It was in a pretty rural area, so no real heavy traffic most times. There was a small read the fed on to a highway. The small road forked about 25-30 yards before the highway, and the right hand fork went by one little house. One day I saw with horror that a stop sign had been added just before the fork. Who the [censored] thought that was a good idea? If there was a problem with accidents, just make the right-hand fork one way going towards the highway and the left fork one way going away from the highway. Why should everyone except one direction have to come to a stop?

http://img508.imageshack.us/img508/1193/road3cq0.png

Making the forks one way is such a more practical, more elegant solution than just putting in stop signs everywhere. Aren't people paid to think about these things before making decisions like that? Or are local city council members just throwing around traffic decisions whenever they please?

We need PdPG's wife to start posting around here.

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While I was away at college I let my sister borrow my car. It was a manual transmission 93 Geo Prizm. She recently learned how to drive manual, so I didn't worry about it. One winter day, with icy roads, she lost control while making a turn a few MPH too fast on a street. The car started oversteering and heading into a street light. My sister then engaged the e-brake. Her comments, "I thought it was a brake to use in emergencies...." and my car got totalled!

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You know that part in Tommy Boy when he's backing up to the pump in David Spade's car and catches the door on the pump and bends it against the hood?

Yeah I pulled one of those. In my defense I had just got my license and it was an '86 Blazer that really threw back hard in reverse if your foot wasn't on the brake. I pulled my leg in right before the door caught the metal pole and bent up against the hood. I couldn't bend the door back, so I had to drive it home like that. The funniest part was a guy was pumping gas on the other side of the pump, and didn't stop pumping. After it happened he asked me "Is the circus over?"

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RDH, did their restriping of the road also add a bike lane? Almost every road in the Phoenix area has a center turn lane, but fairly recently some that were like your initial drawing were restriped with bike lanes on each side, essentially stealing a thru lane and leaving drivers with a center turn lane. Not the worst thing in the world but not an improvement for drivers.

DN, awesome to meet you in LA last month. I do have a somewhat similar story to share which I think I posted here recently. Like two days after getting my first ever brand new vehicle (a '94 Toyota pickup, totally stock as in 2WD, no stereo, no extra cab, nothing, but it was new), I backed it into a tree at my apartment complex. It was kinda stupid, the tree way overhung the parking spot in question and in retrospect I could probably have gotten some compensation, but it really sucked to have a "sweet" new ride with <100 miles on it and a wrecked tailgate. Got it fixed a few months later at the cost of several hundred dollars.

These days, all I want is the courtesy wave. Seriously, like the last eight times I've graciously let someone in front of me I've been denied the wave. All were wave candidates. WTF? WAVE YOU A-HOLES.

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I'll give you a courtesy wave next time you let me over Tuq.

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These days, all I want is the courtesy wave. Seriously, like the last eight times I've graciously let someone in front of me I've been denied the wave. All were wave candidates. WTF? WAVE YOU A-HOLES.

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I'm usually very generous with courtesy waves (due to me often being in lanes that are almost ending), and occassionally I get a "thank you for the courtesy wave" headnod or half-wave. So, now I've started giving out a headnod if someone gives me a courtesy wave.

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Okay, this happened about two years ago. While driving to work on a busy 4 lane street, I see a cop making a traffic stop on a side street, and rubberneck, instead of keeping my eyes forward. When I bring my eyes forward, i see the van in front of me (as well as traffic in front of him) has stopped, and I don't have room to stop myself. I brake as hard as I can, but still rear-end the van, giving the cop another ticket to write (for me). Damage was not too bad and nobody hurt but it was pretty stupid on my part to take my eyes off the road. It's not like I'd never seen a cop making a traffic stop before.

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RDH, did their restriping of the road also add a bike lane? Almost every road in the Phoenix area has a center turn lane, but fairly recently some that were like your initial drawing were restriped with bike lanes on each side, essentially stealing a thru lane and leaving drivers with a center turn lane. Not the worst thing in the world but not an improvement for drivers.

DN, awesome to meet you in LA last month. I do have a somewhat similar story to share which I think I posted here recently. Like two days after getting my first ever brand new vehicle (a '94 Toyota pickup, totally stock as in 2WD, no stereo, no extra cab, nothing, but it was new), I backed it into a tree at my apartment complex. It was kinda stupid, the tree way overhung the parking spot in question and in retrospect I could probably have gotten some compensation, but it really sucked to have a "sweet" new ride with <100 miles on it and a wrecked tailgate. Got it fixed a few months later at the cost of several hundred dollars.

These days, all I want is the courtesy wave. Seriously, like the last eight times I've graciously let someone in front of me I've been denied the wave. All were wave candidates. WTF? WAVE YOU A-HOLES.

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Tuq, it was really good to meet you too. Your story did cheer me up from my idiocy a little bit.

I also fully agree with the wave, it shows that they understand that they made a mistake or acknowledges your generosity for letting cut through. Otherwise they just seem like douches.

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These days, all I want is the courtesy wave. Seriously, like the last eight times I've graciously let someone in front of me I've been denied the wave. All were wave candidates. WTF? WAVE YOU A-HOLES.

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I'm usually very generous with courtesy waves (due to me often being in lanes that are almost ending), and occassionally I get a "thank you for the courtesy wave" headnod or half-wave. So, now I've started giving out a headnod if someone gives me a courtesy wave.

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LMAO A+ post