This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

I'll keep it brief.

I met a Chinese girl back in Australia one night out, we got talking I wowed her with my Chinese, she was interested we went out another night, but didn't get to close the deal but hooked up. She left my city and went on a holiday around Australia after this and occasionally messages me on msn.

During the course of our conversations she told me in a not too subtle Chinese manner she is filthy rich, her dad owns a mine was the jist of it.

Fast forward 2 or 3 months later she calls me today to say she misses me and I should come to visit her, I'm fairly degenerate so I say ok and book a flight for two weeks time to stay two weeks.

Then she sends me a message just now after we've been talking on the net that says "when u come, could u help me bring something plz?" - so BBV am I going to be used as a drug mule or what? It seems strange to go from Australia to China for drugs but ehh it's all a bit strange, oh and she's offering to pay my accomodation and food and drinks while i'm over there with her.

So BBV what's the play, ring up tomorrow and cancel the ticket which I still haven't paid for or through myself in there for at worst a great story I can write from deathrow in China?

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

What type of drugs?

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

[ ] what drugs
[ ] pics or it didnt happen
[ ] stop being a pussy and swallow the blow

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

do it, TR it

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

I thought China was in Asia [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

http://www.filmreference.com/images/sjff_01_img0323.jpg

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

obviously she didn't say bring drugs she just sent that unclear message above to my phone, but it sounds a little bit shady, but then it could be completely innocent.

yes and the question is what could she possibly need brought from australia to china that china doesn't already have.

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

Wow...you're gonna die. Good luck with that!
(Have fun at the bottom of the mine.)

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

[ QUOTE ]
obviously she didn't say bring drugs she just sent that unclear message above to my phone, but it sounds a little bit shady, but then it could be completely innocent.

yes and the question is what could she possibly need brought from australia to china that china doesn't already have.

[/ QUOTE ]

[x] koala bears

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

If its drugs, I wouldn't do it, as good story and possible sex is not worth months in a Chinese prison. -EV.

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

Why don't you just ask her what she wants brought to her and save us the suspense

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

[ QUOTE ]
If its drugs, I wouldn't do it, as good story and possible sex is not worth decades in a Chinese prison. -EV.

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

I did, she just replied "mmm...im shy to tell u what is it!!!ok, will u bring me present?"

I replied sure I'll bring you a sexy present.

At this point the only thing i'm even considering bringing her is a tripple headed dildo because there's nothing else that she should be shy about telling me.

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

not going is not worth it. it will ruin your life if you don't go and [censored] this chick and do mad drugs iwth her

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

no its definitely drugs, anything else would be presumptuous

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/63/16...e51fa63936.jpg

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

most recent message "not anything, just u is enough for me!!!and don't forget bring ur ass come to here let me spank it!hahaha"

I think i'm over analysing this, it should be alright, will keep you informed.

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

Make sure to hide your kidneys.

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

Eagerly awaiting TR.

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

[x] OP states he will keep it brief
[ ] OP keeps it brief
[x] I will now read OP's OP afaik imo

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

nitty

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

JESUS CHRIST SHE WANTS YOU TO STICK YOUR PENIS INTO HER VAGINA. MAKE SURE YOU BRING YOUR PENIS WITH YOU. SHE'S REMINDING YOU BECAUSE CLEARLY YOU ARE INEXPERIENCED IN THESE SORTS OF THINGS.

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

she is looking out for you;
her family would prolly unapproved of you if you cam empty handed.

It is not like America, where generosity, and manners go unnoticed...

Now go go go and write a TR.

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

[ QUOTE ]

yes and the question is what could she possibly need brought from australia to china that china doesn't already have.

[/ QUOTE ]

My family always takes lots of vegemite and Maccaroni and Cheese from Australia to Germany

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

[ QUOTE ]
most recent message "not anything, just u is enough for me!!!and don't forget bring ur ass come to here let me spank it!hahaha"

I think i'm over analysing this, it should be alright, will keep you informed.

[/ QUOTE ]


Judging from this last message she is obviously fluent in english but hasn't mastered the language. In the first message she probably misused 'help' for if you replace it with any verb or just cut it entirely things don't sound nearly as sinister.

Plus, john voight is probably right as well.

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

[ QUOTE ]

JESUS CHRIST SHE WANTS YOU TO STICK YOUR PENIS INTO HER VAGINA. MAKE SURE YOU BRING YOUR PENIS WITH YOU. SHE'S REMINDING YOU BECAUSE CLEARLY YOU ARE INEXPERIENCED IN THESE SORTS OF THINGS.

[/ QUOTE ]
QFT, don't mistake your penis for a turkeys neck

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

[ QUOTE ]
most recent message "not anything, just u is enough for me!!!and don't forget bring ur ass come to here let me spank it!hahaha"

I think i'm over analysing this, it should be alright, will keep you informed.

[/ QUOTE ]


I could be wrong, but I think if you play your cards right and the conditions are perfect, you might get a kiss out of this.

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

As a word of caution, I'd only accept panda meat in exchange for koala meat. The going rate is 2.5 lbs of panda for every 1 lb of koala or so I've heard.

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

your mother is pear shaped

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

[ QUOTE ]
I did, she just replied "mmm...im shy to tell u what is it!!!ok, will u bring me present?"

[/ QUOTE ]

Eerily similar to a well known Nigerian around here...

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

scame

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

you met her in australia? and she's chinese...
what city is she from??

my informed opinion is:
80% chance she's rich
90% chance of lots of sex either way
100% chance you should bring a gift for her parents (and something small for her)
50% chance you will never hear from her again after 2 weeks of [censored]
50% chance she will expect you to marry her after two weeks of [censored]

and last but not least-
1% chance you are going to lose your kidneys [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

and yes i actually know what i'm talking about (not the kidney part)

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

hahaha guys yes after mulling this over some more I clearly totally misread it, i'm really pumped for this two weeks away, i hope to provide a great trip report as she does use drugs and i was massive fiend when I did live in China.

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

plz have your execution in Beijing Central Prison posted on Youtube for the 2p2 community kthxbye

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

[ QUOTE ]


my informed opinion is:
80% chance she's rich
90% chance of lots of sex either way
100% chance you should bring a gift for her parents (and something small for her)
50% chance you will never hear from her again after 2 weeks of [censored]
50% chance she will expect you to marry her after two weeks of [censored]

and last but not least-
1% chance you are going to lose your kidneys [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]



[/ QUOTE ]

Whoah. This adds up to way more than 100%.

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

Zai jian!

Ni hao?

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

at least if u go to jail in china, your ass won't hurt as much as it would in most other places

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

opium ftw afaik

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

[ QUOTE ]
at least if u go to jail in china, your ass won't hurt as much as it would in most other places

[/ QUOTE ]

I GET IT!!!

Re: This could definitely go pear shaped.
 

[ QUOTE ]
plz have your execution in Beijing Central Prison posted on Youtube for amnesty international kthxbye

[/ QUOTE ]