Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

I met some very cool people in my two year stay in California, my buddy Miguel, his girlfriend Brittany, and my ex-girlfriend, Blair. (Brittany's, and Miguel's former best friend)

Miguel and I grew close, he always confided in me that he'd been sleeping with other women off and on during his three year relationship with Brittany. Not to mention, he loved strip clubs, and gawking at other women. He never really seemed ashamed of any of this.

I've never told any of this to Brittany, didn't want to get involved. Until recently, Blair found out, and confirmed through me that Miguel has in fact been sleeping with a co-worker, one who works with Miguel and Brittany. Blair is super protective of her girl friends, and made Brittany aware.

As I figured, Brittany, denied this, didn't believe Blair, and sided with Miguel. Miguel played dumb, fed Brittany a bunch of [censored], and promptly took her to Vegas. He's super conniving, manipulative, and persuasive. Brittany falls for his [censored] all the time, she loves Miguel, and doesn't want to see a three year relationship crumble. They share an apartment, two cars, and have talked about kids. She's in denial.

Brittany has basically removed Blair from her life, and Miguel is super pissed at Blair for "trying to ruin a relationship", Blair is now considered a "man hater", and a bad guy.

I've stayed out of it because I live 2000 miles away, don't want to get involved, and feel that I shouldn't. However, I have told Blair what I know, and expect that she doesn't reveal me as the all-knowing third party. I'm playing Devil's advocate, and keeping my mouth shut.

Blair knows she's done all she can do. If Brittany is going to fall into denial, and dismiss every claim, that's her fault, she'll end up getting hurt, but she'll find out for herself later on in life.

How would you play it? Tell Brittany what I know and face Miguel knowing he's gonna flip out, probably threaten me with [censored] claims, and nix me as friend. Or, hang low, and stay out of it?

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

snitches get stitches

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

When Blair gets sick of being the bad guy, she WILL out you as her source. (Why do people who divulge secrets expect others to keep theirs?) With that given, do you still have a question?

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

you're a [censored] for telling the girl anything, don't forget your ex is the one doing the manipulating here, miguel is just a guy trying to get his end in.

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex *DELETED*
 

Post deleted by Nick B.

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

The girl already knows he's cheating. She doesn't care, she wants to keep the relationship going. Just stay out of it.

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

my life philophy: try to know as little gossip as possible and share even less.

one time i was in a parking lot waiting to meet some buddies to go to a yankees game and saw my friend's dad meeting a prositute (the parking lot had been in the police reports for such acts so i was pretty sure). i just slid down in the drivers seat and never said a word. it was confirmed in my mind when my buddy said his dad shot the round of his life golfing recently. but yea, 99% of the time, it's just not my place so i keep my mouth shut. if people are gonna be put into life or death situations, thats one thing, but i like to learn from my own mistakes and expect others to do the same.

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

[ QUOTE ]
deleted

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Man, these posts put me on tilt. Clearly it's just a facetious off-hand remark buried in an OOT thread on 2+2, but seriously -- when you take a step back, look at what is being said. In a thread about a guy who consistently cheats on his girlfriend and lies to her and her friends, the jerk's buddy who has stayed out of the way is the one being told to commit suicide.

[img]/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img]

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

[ QUOTE ]
I'm going to keep staying out of it because I live 2000 miles away, don't want to get involved, and feel that I shouldn't.

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

[/end thread]

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

I was faced with a similar decision in my past. Much like you want to, I told the girl. Unlike you, I now realize that it was a terrible decision. People believe what they want, and even presenting them with irrefutable evidence gets you no where.

I know you want to help your friend out, but like someone said above she knows what's going on and just doesn't want to believe it.

It sucks terribly. I feel for you, but you just got to let them [censored] up on their own.

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

[ QUOTE ]
I've stayed out of it because I live 2000 miles away, don't want to get involved, and feel that I shouldn't. However, I have told Blair what I know, and expect that she doesn't reveal me as the all-knowing third party. I'm playing Devil's advocate, and keeping my mouth shut.

[/ QUOTE ]

???

Agree on the just stay out of it. Not because snitches get stitches - just don't feel obligated to put yourself through their crap.

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

You nullified your friendship with Miguel when you ratted him out. Bros before ho's.

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

Bros before hoes, despite being beat to it by post above me.

Seriously, wtf, how is this even a question?

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

[ QUOTE ]
We've been ratted out boys. Watch it.

[/ QUOTE ]

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.ya...on/batman7.jpg

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

[ QUOTE ]
Bros before hoes, despite being beat to it by post above me.

Seriously, wtf, how is this even a question?

[/ QUOTE ]


I told my ex for two reasons:
1. We're still very close, and best friends, and she is a very loyal and trustworthy person.

She's not going to tell Brittany that I was the one who confirmed her suspicion. Blair pretty much knew all along that Miguel was likely cheating, just wanted confirmation.

I gave her confirmation under the understanding that she WOULD NOT out me.

Blair told Brittany that a "reliable" source confirmed, she hasn't said my name, and I don't believe Brittany would think that I'm the source.

If I do get outed, I get outed. Miguel has become less and less a worthy friend. There's obviously more to the story, but I'm not too fond of a person who calls my GF "Scarface" referring to her facial [censored] ups from a very very serious car wreck, and multiple facial re constructive surgeries. Very childish.

Not to mention, he has no morals, and isn't a very decent human being. Sucks when you divulge too much info, and lie straight to the faces of your friends and partner...

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

OP,

This isn't an awkward situation, because she already has been told by someone who was very close to her.

If she didn't know and was getting tricked and screwed over and she's someone you care about, it's a tough spot for you.

But the fact that she has already been told makes it crystal clear what you need to do - nothing.

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

pics of "scarface" or it didnt happen

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

Sadly, nothing you can do. If Brittany doesn't believe Blair, you adding your voice won't matter. People are delusional when it comes to love. Wish Brittany the best of luck and go your seperate ways.

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

I must be some kind of idiot, but I absolutely think you should tell her. I think most of the good reasons for keeping your mouth shut are selfish.

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

[ QUOTE ]
Bros before hoes, despite being beat to it by post above me.

Seriously, wtf, how is this even a question?

[/ QUOTE ]

qft on all counts

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

[ QUOTE ]
The girl already knows he's cheating. She doesn't care, she wants to keep the relationship going. Just stay out of it.

[/ QUOTE ]

QFT

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

You guys think you're so honorable by staying quiet, that is not honorable. The truth is.

If you were getting cheated on, wouldn't you want to be told? I know I would.

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

[ QUOTE ]
I've never told any of this to Brittany, didn't want to get involved. Until recently, Blair found out, and confirmed through me that Miguel has in fact been sleeping with a co-worker, one who works with Miguel and Brittany. Blair is super protective of her girl friends, and made Brittany aware.

[/ QUOTE ]
Sounds to me like you wanted to get involved without having to take any heat for it.

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

[ QUOTE ]
OP,

This isn't an awkward situation, because she already has been told by someone who was very close to her.

If she didn't know and was getting tricked and screwed over and she's someone you care about, it's a tough spot for you.

But the fact that she has already been told makes it crystal clear what you need to do - nothing.

[/ QUOTE ]

agree w/this. not much you can do, if she wants to get played that is her business.

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

[ QUOTE ]
If I do get outed, I get outed. Miguel has become less and less a worthy friend. There's obviously more to the story, but I'm not too fond of a person who calls my GF "Scarface" referring to her facial [censored] ups from a very very serious car wreck, and multiple facial re constructive surgeries. Very childish.

Not to mention, he has no morals, and isn't a very decent human being.

[/ QUOTE ]
Wait, he insulted your GF in front of your face and you're worrying about maintaining a relationship with this douchebag. He obviously has no respect for you or his significant he's obviously a dishonest prick. Is that acceptable among your peers?

Probably so you wee-willied punk.

Heh, just kidding there. I just for the life of me can't understand why people tolerate dishonest people hanging around. That's all.

You probably let him slip it in your peach hole didn't you? You probably have two peach holes like a girl does. That's why.

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

illeagle,

First off, go [censored] yourself. Secondly, this happened after he found out people were on to him. The more and more I look at it, the more I realize how [censored] of a friend he is. Someone like this, with such little morals, isn't someone I want to be friends with.

/thread

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

[ QUOTE ]
You guys think you're so honorable by staying quiet, that is not honorable. The truth is.

If you were getting cheated on, wouldn't you want to be told? I know I would.

[/ QUOTE ]

QFGDMFT

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

why dont you just mind your own business? i think you have a thing for this brittney girl and just want to move after you mess her life up.

its great when people mess up other people's lives because they a)feel they have some kind of moral high-ground or b) are bored.

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

You should have kept your mouth shut in the first place. If you weren't going to get involved you shouldn't have confirmed anything with Blair

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

you took the worst possible action.

if you had a problem with what he was doing you should have said something the first time. or else said something to him when you realised you had a problem with it. if he doesnt like it then tell him you are gonna tell his gf. if you come to blows so be it.

if its not a big problem then it isnt your business anyway so just stay out of it.

dont betray this guys trust and go behind his back gossipping in his territory....

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

I disagree, you played this reasonably well. It sounds like Miguel isn't really grade-A friend material anyway, so [censored] any sort of "man rule" about not messing with his infidelity. But you aren't involved and it isn't your place to randomly call some dude's GF and rat him out. Providing some deep cover background to a trusted confidant of Brittany provides that information to the injured party without getting involved, if she didn't believe Blair she isn't going to believe you.

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

gj ratting out ur buddy

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

So your goal is to [censored] Brittany? Because if you just want to say you're a "noble, caring and sympathetic" friend. Just [censored] tell her. At least deal straight up, with her, and your friend.

Let's assume that your goal isn't to look honest, noble and whatever, you're [censored] with a relationship that a) isn't yours b) shouldn't involve you in anyway if your penis is dry.


Understanding other people's relationships is simple. If your wang wang ain't in her or his who ha. You have no business in the hand.

Re: Awkward situation with my buddy, his GF, and my Ex
 

[ QUOTE ]
dont betray this guys trust and go behind his back gossipping in his territory....

[/ QUOTE ]

lol @ this for being a reason not to act. it's not gossip if you know he did it, it's just meddling. if he doesn't want to it should be b/c he has no desire to meddle, not b/c he's worried about hurting this guy's feelings. exposing someone for wrong doing is not a betrayal of trust.