Need PUA advice
 

Alright, so it’s the first weekend of college, and my friend and I both meet up with this girl that we kinda know from home. She’s not really hot, has some flaws, but pretty cute overall. She and her roommate were throwing a little party in the dorm with people they met earlier. We talked for a bit, exchanged numbers, nothing happened.

Two days later I’m about to get some dinner and see that she’s online, I ask her if she wants to come with me and she says yes, so we just head down to the school caf. Conversation here went pretty well, awkward at times, but whatever. At this point I’m starting to get interested. We finish up and part ways. Later that night I’m talking to her on aim and she asks if I wanna come to her room to pregame, obv I do.

Anyway, we end up staying in her room the whole night as nothing was really going on. It was just me and her, and we basically just drank and had some solid conversation. People end up coming in and out as the night goes on, and I find myself walking the hallways with her and 3 other guys at like 1:30 AM. I finally end up going back to the room with her to get my stuff, and I say something like “jeez I hope I’ll be able to find my way back.” (Her dorm is really confusing for some reason. I live in a different building a decent distance away. By the way I was hammered at this point and she was def drunk.). So she instantly responds, “Well you can stay here if you want.” So obv I jump right on that and end up sleeping with her. I end up making out with her, but no sex because she didn’t wanna wake her roomie on the 3rd night. I basically think I have it in the bag at this point though.

So this was on a Monday and I don’t end up talking to her until Thursday. I don’t think this is really a bad thing, I was just very precoccupied with other things for one and didn’t want to come off as too aggressive and freak her out just in case the drunkness played a part in her decision (bad play?). Anyway, during this time I end up talking with some people and I find out that she can get pretty damn slutty when drunk. I felt this was probably true as she hinted at a promiscuous past in one of our conversations (mentioning that she had sex with some guy and regretted it. She was drunk). This kind of discouraged me and made me think that maybe she wasn’t very interested in me and was just under the influence.

On Thursday I do the same thing, call her up and ask her if she wants to get dinner, she says she ate awhile ago and wasn’t that hungry, but she’d let me know. Anyway she ends up aiming me when I get back to my room and asks if one of our mutual friends (prob my best friend at college) is going /w me. Let’s call him John. I tell her yes, and she says she wants to come. This kind of threw me for a loop - not sure what to make of this.

So this ended up being standard conversation between the 3 of us. John is very quiet so I was able to talk with the girl a lot. At one point she kept putting her foot on my shoe, and I couldn’t tell if she wanted to play footsies or was just accidently bumping into me. The 2nd time she did this though, I looked up and she was staring directly at me, I gave her a smile and was thinking “ok so she prob does want me.”

Fast Forward to Saturday, she asks me if I wanna get a bite to eat, I do, we talk. She mentions how she got absolutely trashed the previous night and was walking around outside. I jokingly say “did you wake up in your own bed?” and smirk (she previously mentioned something about waking up in some kid’s chair or something the first night...bad play?) She kind of sheepishly blushes and is like “no...I stayed at some guy’s apartment.” So once again this gets me discouraged, but whatever.

We meet up later at her place and end up going to some small party at an appartment. It was pretty nice. We once again had some easy-going conversation but I was also trying to meet some new people as well, so I tried to avoid giving her all my attention. We end up leaving kinda tipsy and head down to some pizza shop. She mentions that she only has $2 as we order some slices. I say that it’s fine and I’ll cover the rest (It came to like $7 or something). I would have gladly paid for the entire thing, but didn’t want to come off as too nice/boyfriendish (bad play?). So we finish up eating and head back to her dorm and watch some TV alone.

We’re both just a little buzzed at this point, she might be a lil drunk, and we aren’t drinking anymore. For some reason I decided to not pursue sex because I don’t want her to think that’s all I want from her. I legitimately like her (bad play?). So ya, we basically just chilled there and I started teasing her/talking etc. She mentioned that she wants to fight John (the mutual friend we discussed earlier. FWIW, they knew eachother alot better than we knew eachother coming here. Their parents are friends or something.) because she wanted to see him tonight (wtf...) So ya we basically just hang there for a bit and I head out when her roommate comes in an hour or two later.

I can’t figure this girl out. She probably doesn’t want a relationship, but who knows, she’s been in them in the past. It’s actually fine with me if she doesn’t, because I’ll go either way. I just basically want to get close enough to her where I’m probably just a step above friends with benefits, but not boyfriend/girlfriend. Another thing is I’m not even sure if she is attracted to me. I’m terrible with picking up hints from girls, and I think that some of the stuff she does definitely hints that she wants me, where other stuff says she’s not interested in me at all.

So basically, where do I go from here? Continue to pursue or give up? I really like her as a person and not just a sex object (and I THINK she might feel likewise) which makes this tough. With the weekend coming up, what would you guys recommend?

Re: Need PUA advice
 

ok, the fact that I read that entire thing says I need help. Just kiss the girl. Quit thinking. Your brain is not your friend. She's a tramp which is fine. Be sure to suit up if you decide to go the distance.

You'll find more out about a person when they are drunk then you ever will when they are sober.

EDIT: What's this step above Friends with Benefits and "Dating"? I've yet to find this loophole.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

i am giving you some time off to leave your internets and go chase girls around.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

Don't worry about what she thinks of you. That will make her want you more. She doesn't sound that spectacular anyway.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

Just go round with a few packs of nodders and a bottle of vodka.

What more could a lady want?

Re: Need PUA advice
 

Wow, to get a girlfriend the 1st week of college is a very bad idea. Hook up with her and dont expect anything more. If you are lucky she'll become friends with some hot chics.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

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we end up staying in her room the whole night

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[ QUOTE ]
It was just me and her

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[ QUOTE ]
some solid conversation

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lol

okay, really, just stop being such a neurotic pussy

Re: Need PUA advice
 

PUA advice? Try finding some closing the deal artists.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
PUA advice? Try finding some closing the deal artists.

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or even some 'what to do with pussy when it crawls into your lap' artists

Re: Need PUA advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
we end up staying in her room the whole night

[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
It was just me and her

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[ QUOTE ]
some solid conversation

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lol

okay, really, just stop being such a neurotic pussy

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Thanks for distilling this into its essential parts, no way I was reading all of that, and QFT.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

You need to bang her ASAP. Then one of two things will happen.
1.
She'll be emotionally attached, then you can do what you want (date, friends with benefits, etc).
2.
She thinks you're a bad lay and wants to bang John.

Either way you get yours.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

getting into a relationship in the first week of college is like the worst possible thing to do.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

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I just basically want to get close enough to her where I’m probably just a step above friends with benefits, but not boyfriend/girlfriend

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This place doesn't exist.


Also, you are 'the friend' who will never [censored] her. God damn, you already passed up two BJ slam dunks for Christ's sake. Forget it.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

I don't think she would have told you about waking up in some guy's apartment if she was currently interested in something serious. For the moment just take what you can get and see if things change.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
getting into a relationship in the first week of college is like the worst possible thing to do.

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this too

Re: Need PUA advice
 

Yeah seriously some of us are stuck in relationships to start, but my unhappiest friends are the ones who bought the first cow that was willing to give them some milk.

Literally. My buddy had sex with a cow.

Either way, it's pretty obv that this girl is a bit of a college skank - there's nothing wrong with this if you're interested in that. Something tells me she's not the "settling down" type if all she talks about is crashing at other boys' pads....

Become more detached/realize what's available in college OR you can sit there and pine for days and days while she "accidentally" ends up with guys who are more aggressive and willing to make a move.

But atleast.. you'll have conversation...?

Re: Need PUA advice
 

WTF OP? Even if you like her you can still bang.... Pull up your skirt. What does she have to do? draw a map of her box? Hit that.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

i think ur problem is that you say jeez wayyyy to much. tone down the jeez, man.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

In contrast with the typical male, your problem is that you don't think with your genitals enough.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

While you're sitting around waiting to make a move she's going to be banging other guys who didn't. Just take her out, get drunk and bang the crap out of her. It's probably what she wants and if you don't do it somebody else will.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

get a bottle of greygoose, fill it with cheap vodka, get drunk off it. she will drop her panties in no time...

Re: Need PUA advice
 

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[ QUOTE ]
getting into a relationship in the first week of college is like the worst possible thing to do.

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this too

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this doesn't mean you shouldnt [censored] her though.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

Is SIIHP no longer a good advice? Maybe I missed something.

Dude, you're thinking too hard about this. Just get drunk together and have fun. That's what college is all about.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
we end up staying in her room the whole night

[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
It was just me and her

[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
some solid conversation

[/ QUOTE ]
lol

okay, really, just stop being such a neurotic pussy

[/ QUOTE ]

but like oh my god i really like her a special way i don't want her to think i'm like other guys who just want to sleep with her drunk slutty ass because she obviously wants some weak tight neurotic pussy overly sensitive to her

dear lady would you mind allowing my meat rod into your thingy but while we do it we remain friends on a deeper level?

If OP comes off as this big of a pussy posting about it, then I can't even imagine how much of a big pussy he is in the the uncensored real life version.

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For some reason I decided to not pursue sex because I don’t want her to think that’s all I want from her.

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el oh el

This logic makes no [censored] sense to me at all. Let me put it in terms you might understand: You're slowplaying a set on a drawy board. Get it all-in already you [censored] nit.

Look, if you want to be friends it looks like you have that in the bag. Are you going go out of your way to prove that you want to be her friend and not just stick it in her? Or are you going to be some androgynous robot who tries to pretend you're not interested in a relationship involving sexual attraction? Why is it a bad idea if she realizes you want to [censored] her? Is that a bad thing? And she likely already realizes this so it's too late to pretend otherwise, now you're just looking like a pussy who can't seal the deal.

How many more [censored] drunk cuddle sessions will it take before she realizes whatever it is you think you want her to think about her?

Re: Need PUA advice
 

Colombo,

tl;dr because only AFCs write posts that long when it comes to talking about girls. My advice is less talk and more action i.e think ABC [always be closing].

Re: Need PUA advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
She’s not really hot

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fold pf

Re: Need PUA advice
 

OP,

Try inserting Tab A into Slot B. Sounds like she has some experience in this area.


http://photo.net/bboard-uploads/00EX4H-26998384.jpg

Re: Need PUA advice
 

You're voluntarily taking the role of the pursuer which is placing you squarely on the friends ladder. Start snubbing her immediately, almost to the point of rudeness. This is your best shot and requires the least amount of effort.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
While you're sitting around waiting to make a move she's going to be banging other guys who didn't. Just take her out, get drunk and bang the crap out of her. It's probably what she wants and if you don't do it somebody else will.

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This is the best advice ever. After you are done doing this, do it to someone else the next weekend. Scratch that, do it that comming Wednesday.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

I didn't read all of the other posts but at this point she doesn't want a relationship. When she says she slept at "some guys" place that is pretty discouraging. I would just continue to try to bang her and if you can't seem to get into her gash soon, start shifting your attention elsewhere. Also, it was a terrible play to not talk to her before thursday. Keep yourself fresh in her mind so when she needs a man you're one of the first ones she thinks about. If she has sex with you when she is sober, then you have it in the bag. I'll tell you in advance that falling for this girl is not a good idea, but drunken/casual sex is an excellent one.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
While you're sitting around waiting to make a move she's going to be banging other guys who didn't. Just take her out, get drunk and bang the crap out of her. It's probably what she wants and if you don't do it somebody else will.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is the best advice ever. After you are done doing this, do it to someone else the next weekend. Scratch that, do it that comming Wednesday.

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And since she's already banging multiple guys, avoid teh herp.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

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I didn't read all of the other posts

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Maybe you should have...

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I would just continue to try to bang her

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No, it's pretty clear that if OP continues to try to bang her, he will continue being the guy trying to bang her. OP needs to spend less time trying to bang her and more time actually banging her.

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if you can't seem to get into her gash soon

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Spoken like a true expert!

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If she has sex with you when she is sober, then you have it in the bag.

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Are you sure?

Re: Need PUA advice
 

I can't decide if installments are lamer than posting an enormous glob of text junk that 3% of people read. I'm leaning toward installments.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
You're voluntarily taking the role of the pursuer which is placing you squarely on the friends ladder. Start snubbing her immediately, almost to the point of rudeness. This is your best shot and requires the least amount of effort.

[/ QUOTE ]

I like this line better after you've heard the "let's just be friends" shutdown. It is my last resort and is gold. Another idea is to start talking to her about other women you are meeting. Kinda like how she said she wanted to see John or whoever, but I would take it to another level and say something like "I wish I coulda seen Michelle this weekend, she is pretty cute" or "I met this cute girl named Amanda in English 101 and am going to try to get together with her. Do you think I have a chance?" If she is interested in you at all this will put her in a position were she has to start being a little more aggressive with you which is good because then you will be in control.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

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Let’s call him John.

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Are you kidding me? We have no idea who you are or where you go to college. You can't tell us your friend's real name? Give me a break.

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I couldn’t tell if she wanted to play footsies or was just accidently bumping into me

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Are we in kindergarten? If so, maybe she does.

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I would have gladly paid for the entire thing, but didn’t want to come off as too nice/boyfriendish (bad play?)

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Who gives a [censored] who pays $7 for the pizza?

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I legitimately like her (bad play?)

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Obviously.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

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No, it's pretty clear that if OP continues to try to bang her, he will continue being the guy trying to bang her. OP needs to spend less time trying to bang her and more time actually banging her.


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I agree, but if he doesn't try, he will get nowhere. He hasn't tried hard enough.

And yes, if you can get her while sober you're in. I not talking about a relationship, I'm talking more in the terms of potentially steady ass. OP will then know he wasn't one of those she "regrets". He almost had her when she was drunk, but OP can't rely on getting her drunk everytime. From my experiences drunk girls make poor decisions. Slutty drunken girls make terrible ones.

BTW Nath, no WSOP BBV Graph this year?

Re: Need PUA advice
 

Friday go to a party (with or with out her) get drunk, find drunk girl, and [censored] drunk girl. Should be easy as that if you are in college.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

You are in the friend zone my friend. Alcohol (and a hell of a lot of it) is the only thing that can possibly get you out of it, unfortunately only in the very short term (read: one night).

Advice for next time:

Less bullshitting and sober hangouts... just get down to business and she will have more respect for you. Everyone makes this mistake first semester of freshman year of college. I didn't have more than a one minute conversation with my long term F-buddy during my entire sophmore and junior year unless we were going out/partying etc and she was even more obsessed with me because of it. I would just talk to her on AIM once per week and say whats up in dining halls and the student union etc... Anytime either of us were drunk and I wasn't hooking up with someone else we'd get it on. I would rarely initiate.

Always seem in demand, never seem desperate. How well your conversations are going is not a great indicator of how 'in' you are... friends can have great conversations too. Save that for the pillow talk.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
You're voluntarily taking the role of the pursuer which is placing you squarely on the friends ladder. Start snubbing her immediately, almost to the point of rudeness. This is your best shot and requires the least amount of effort.

[/ QUOTE ]

Best advice by far. Again, no one realizes this first semester of freshman year... those who do first end up getting the most ass.

Re: Need PUA advice
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
No, it's pretty clear that if OP continues to try to bang her, he will continue being the guy trying to bang her. OP needs to spend less time trying to bang her and more time actually banging her.


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I agree, but if he doesn't try, he will get nowhere. He hasn't tried hard enough.

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No, that's the exact opposite of what he needs to hear. He's been "trying" a ton. This girl has been ready to go for some time, and if he'd stop "trying" and just man up and make a move, he'd be in there.

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And yes, if you can get her while sober you're in. I not talking about a relationship, I'm talking more in the terms of potentially steady ass.

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I was being sarcastic because he's so obviously in if he has sex with her sober-- in fact, that's pretty much the definition of "in". And honestly in this case, who cares if she's drunk? It's college.

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OP will then know he wasn't one of those she "regrets".

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The wrong way to do this is to be the nice, sensitive guy who wants to make sure she won't regret it when he finally does sleep with her, so he never makes a move at any time he thinks it might be untoward or "taking advantage" of her.
The right way to do this is to [censored] her, then let her worry about whether or not she regrets it. If you're awesome (at life or in bed, preferably both) she won't. Unfortunately, based on this thread, OP seems unlikely to be either.

[ QUOTE ]
BTW Nath, no WSOP BBV Graph this year?

[/ QUOTE ]
It's pretty much a straight line downward, unless trips to the Spearmint Rhino count as upswings.