A really stupid girl problem
 

Alright, I'm hesitant to post this, but I figure maybe one of you schmucks might have a good idea. You don't need much background information.

Three weeks ago, I went to my girlfriend's sister's wedding in Long Island. I've been dating her for 2 years er so. Anyway, I drank way too much at the wedding like a moron and as a result, I really don't remember much that happened after the speeches at the party.

The Problem:

I have a random memory of me saying "I love you" to her while we were dancing. I'm like 80% sure I did and I obviously have no memory of how she reacted (I have no idea what she said in response).

Anyway, I really like her so if I did say "I love you," that's not a big deal to me. But I mean is saying "I love you" for the first time that big of a deal in a relationship? I'm her first serious boyfriend, so I'm prolly the first person to ever say that to her. Is this something girls dream of hearing from a guy they really like?

I dunno, I feel like I F'd this up pretty bad--when she remembers the first time this was said to her she'll picture a drunken idiot dancing badly. Anyone think I should try to say it again at a more proper time (eg- something she'd deem romantic)?

The other problem is if I didn't actually say anything and am misremembering. Not really sure what I can do about that.

Ok, so i read through this and it sorta sounds made up. But, keep in mind that I rarely post in OOT and don't care about my reputation. I guess I didn't entirely spell out the problem (I'm trying to keep this short), so if it's not obvious, I can add more stuff.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

lol

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

first


edit - damn

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

If she's been your gf for 2 years and that was the first time you said I love you? You must be dead inside..

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

Dear traz and sonneti,
I love both of you.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

2 years? 2 years and neither of you have said "I love you"? That sounds extremely odd to me.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

[ QUOTE ]
Anyone think I should try to say it again at a more proper time (eg- something she'd deem romantic)?

[/ QUOTE ]

No.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

2 years? 2 YEARS? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

Pretend.
It.
Never.
Happened.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

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I figure maybe one of you schmucks might have a good idea.

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awesome way to start a post

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I've been dating her for 2 years er so.


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I have a random memory of me saying "I love you" to her while we were dancing.


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standard

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But I mean is saying "I love you" for the first time that big of a deal in a relationship? I'm her first serious boyfriend, so I'm prolly the first person to ever say that to her. Is this something girls dream of hearing from a guy they really like?


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So wait, 2 years or 2 months? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

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I can add more stuff.

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lol nothx

Ok, well there's nothing you can do about the past. I think it's much more likely that you can parlay this into a romantic "I love you." I definitely wouldn't bring up the wedding *possible memory* but if she brings it up you can say you had an epiphany while you were dancing that everything was right in the world, blah blah blah (plz use your own words).

But, ummm, the problem doesn't seem to be that you said "I love you drunkenly" the problem seems to be how you were in an exclusive relationship for 2 years without loving her or withholding your feelings from her.

Yugoslav

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

The obvious answer is that we need pics of GF to adequately evaluate how badly you F'ed up.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

if it doesn't work out, don't worry. there's a whole new group of girls waiting for you next year at middle school!

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

yugo and sethypooh,
I love you.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

[ QUOTE ]
Dear traz and sonneti,
I love both of you.

[/ QUOTE ]

BUT ARE YOU DRUNK?!??

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

You have too many posts to consider this a gimmick account.

Im a little confused here. You have had the same girlfriend for two years, and it took the ambience of a wedding mixed with alcohol to stir these feelings from deep within your loins?

OP how old are you?

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

haha well i guess this will at least be entertaining.

to one guy "shmuck" is not meant as an insult--it's just a fun word.

to another guy, dunno, the whole "i love you" thing is bs in relationships in college. lots of ppl i kno say that n then break up.

i figured id say it at some pt when i was sure id be w/ her for quite some time--obviously i picked a bad time.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

[ QUOTE ]
You have too many posts to consider this a gimmick account.

Im a little confused here. You have had the same girlfriend for two years, and it took the ambience of a wedding mixed with alcohol to stir these feelings from deep within your loins?

OP how old are you?

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ha i find it sort of strange that this post makes me look really immature. lots of ppl do stupid stuff when they're drunk--i just did something REALLY stupid.

i'm 22 btw.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

goblue - People aren't making fun of you for the reason you think they are making fun of you.
People have already directly stated why they are making fun of you. Go back and re-read the replies if you need.

BTW - I do NOT you because I do not have confidence that you would reciprocate.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

What's immature is that you think this is a big deal at all, and it took you 2 years to say it in the first place

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

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to one guy


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Wow, now I feel all gooey inside. Lol, you sure have a disarming way to communicate with people!

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i figured id say it at some pt when i was sure id be w/ her for quite some time--obviously i picked a bad time.

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Is quite some time 5 yrs? life? This statement makes absolutely no sense.

And you still haven't told us if you actually love her or not. This really is the only important piece of information. If you do, no worries, go ahead and let her know and then sex her up and down. If you don't, no worries, just sex her up and down normal styles.

Yugoslav

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

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But, ummm, the problem doesn't seem to be that you said "I love you drunkenly" the problem seems to be how you were in an exclusive relationship for 2 years without loving her or withholding your feelings from her.

Yugoslav

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ha interesting. i never viewed it as "witholding my feelings." i mean whenever we go out it's pretty clear that i like her a lot. saying "i love you" seems really stupid/lame unless u plan to be w/ the person fer years and years.

edit-- in relationships i normally take the attitude "go w/ it while it's fun." so dunno, i'm not normally that serious about that stuff.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

people are calling you immature because of your views on relationships, not because you got drunk and told your gf you love her

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

Personally, I gottta give the kid some credit. Being in a relationship for 2 years, and not saying I love you, is quite the accomplishment imo.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

go blue,

What's lame about love? Do you just hate the projections that people put on this word? What do you actually think it means? The thing is, it's one of the very very few words we have in our language to communicate a powerful and deep connection with someone else.

"Like" comes up short, although depending on tonality/context I *guess* it can get close to what I'm talking about.

If your attitude has always been "just have fun" then just keep on. Certainly don't let something you *might* have said in a throwaway context get into your head. You are 100% creating this "problem" internally.

Yugoslav

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

[ QUOTE ]
saying "i love you" seems really stupid/lame unless u plan to be w/ the person fer years and years.


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I LOLed

(IT's because you already HAVE been with her for years)

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

Oh ya,


dcasper pretty much made my exact post. but I was going to say:

pretend. like. it. never. happened. rather than

pretend.
like.
it.
never.
happened.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

goblue - I think you might be ready to say that you "REALLY REALLY SUPER-DUPER LIKEY" this girl.
Might still require a little drink before you drop this bomb just so you can get your wits and courage about you.
Try to prepare yourself. Practice in front of a mirror if necessary.
She may actually say that she "REALLY REALLY SUPER-DUPER LIKEYS" you too.

This is all assuming you've gotten past the point where you admit that you kinda/sorta have a teensy-weensy crush on her.
You have admitted that much, right?
Good luck.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

I give this post an A++ for making myself feel better about my relationships with people.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

yeah i hate i love yous

never again

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

[ QUOTE ]
Anyone think I should try to say it again at a more proper time (eg- something she'd deem romantic)?

[/ QUOTE ]

She probably doesn't hear too well in that ear. Try her other ear.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

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to another guy, dunno, the whole "i love you" thing is bs in relationships in college. lots of ppl i kno say that n then break up.

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The two aren't incompatible. It is pretty profoundly weird (at least to me, though the thread seems to agree) to go 2 years without feeling that kind of emotion with that girl. Why are you still with her?

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

MicroBob,

I REALLY REALLY REALLY SUPER-DUPER-DUPER-LIKEY YOU !!

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

[ QUOTE ]
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to another guy, dunno, the whole "i love you" thing is bs in relationships in college. lots of ppl i kno say that n then break up.

[/ QUOTE ]

The two aren't incompatible. It is pretty profoundly weird (at least to me, though the thread seems to agree) to go 2 years without feeling that kind of emotion with that girl. Why are you still with her?

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a lot of guys at that age dont really know what love is. well, at least they dont know what love isnt.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

[ QUOTE ]
Personally, I gottta give the kid some credit. Being in a relationship for 2 years, and not saying I love you, is quite the accomplishment imo.

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QFT. Most girls would be dying to hear this after 2 years.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

I haven't said it to my gf of 6 months. I usually just stick with the "Hey, I like all the unprotected sex we have. And you're fun to be around and stuff I guess.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

I was there. Don't sweat it. You actually said I Love You to the hot bridesmaid that you were dancing with and later banged in the coat room.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

for the romantic "i love you" tell a friend of hers to tell her that you feel that way.

or if you don't feel that way, tell her that you like her more than a friend or like like her.

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

[ QUOTE ]
for the romantic "i love you" tell a friend of hers to tell her that you feel that way.

or if you don't feel that way, tell her that you like her more than a friend or like like her.

[/ QUOTE ]

Do you love me?


yes [] no [] maybe []


check one

Re: A really stupid girl problem
 

http://www.gradedreading.pwp.blueyon.../doyoulove.gif