I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

I got a new dog ~6 weeks ago. He went through the prison training program where he is assigned to live with a prisoner for a few months and they are responsible for training him and preparing him for adoption.

He’s an awesome dog and has obviously been very well-trained. He’s only about 16 months old and he knows all of his basic commands, is housebroken, crate-trained, doesn’t chew on stuff, doesn’t bark, doesn’t try to run off, etc. The last couple of weeks have given me the feeling that he may be a little TOO well-trained, though.

He was really good about taking a bath the first time or two, so the last time I just let him hop in the shower with me. I kept having to fight to keep his tongue away from my genitals, though, so I ended up kicking him out. I thought he was just being playful or whatever, but I think it may be more than that.

For the first month or so that he was here, my gf was staying here while she got her living arrangements in order. He had to sleep in his crate in the basement during that time because it was impossible to keep him off the bed otherwise. She has her own place now and is only over a couple of nights a week now. When she’s not here the dog sleeps in my bed. I have a king size bed so there’s plenty of room.

I sleep in the nude. I use a blanket and sheets but they come off sometimes at night. I have woken up twice now to my dog licking my [censored] and balls. I mean really going at it with enthusiasm. Again, I have to fight him off to get him to stop. I push him away and he just keeps trying to come back for more. It’s like someone was giving him steak for blowjobs or something. One time I was still half asleep and without realizing what was going on, I repositioned myself and he started rimming me.

I’ve been around a lot of dogs and I’ve never seen anything like this so I’m wondering WTF did this prisoner do to my dog? So I start testing him. I stand a few feet away from him and drop my pants and he starts trying to go at it. I stand 30 feet away from him while he’s chewing on his favorite toy and drop my pants and he immediately rushes over and starts trying to [censored] give me head.

Obviously I know what to do to keep him from doing this. That’s not really the problem. The problem is that this is really creeping me out. I’m thinking some prison was getting blown by my dog every night. Or maybe this guy was selling doggie blow jobs in his cell to half the prison. Has anyone ever seen a dog do this before? I don’t really know how to go about this, but I think maybe I should report this to the Humane Society where I got the dog. I wouldn’t want other dogs to be trained by this guy but how do you go about proving something like this?

Cliff’s Notes: The thread title pretty much says it all.

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

1. Dress dog up with short skirt and place him on corner
2. ???
3. Profit!!

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

wanna trade dogs?

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

Maybe you should get tested for STDs now.

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

holy crap.

If you can tolerate the awkwardness and embarassment of the situation I think reporting it to the humane society that this guy or entire prison needs to be kept away from dogs might be a good idea.

They could even look into it a bit further for you by interviewing some of the other families with whom dogs have been placed.

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

Meh, my dog has the same tendencies (not a prison dog). If I squat down to pet her, her head immediately goes for the crotch area. So it may just be a weird dog thing, I have no idea.

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

put him into porn

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

OP definitely should get a custom title for this

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

letitbe - Yours might be more based on scent or something like a lot of dogs I guess.
I think that's way different than OP's experiment where he stands across the room and the dog isn't giving a damn but the instant he drops his shorts the dog is sprinting over.

Although your observation brings up the idea that this may not have been as much an intentional 'training' thing from the prison as much as the dog was just sniffing around as some tend to do and the prisoner simply didn't stop it and things carried on from there.

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

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OP definitely should get a custom title for this

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Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

[ QUOTE ]
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OP definitely should get a custom title for this

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"no need for peanut butter"

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

"his dog gives head" is an excellent title

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

lol doggyAIDS

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

my dogs constantly lick each others nuts. dogs like things that are salty. thats why they will lick you when you're sweaty. your nuts are usually a little more moist than any other part of your body. hence, the dog licks your nuts. seems pretty normal to me.

Also, if the dog was trained to lick balls, there would be a command. you don't just train a dog to lick your balls whenever you're sleeping. that doesn't make any sense.

your dog just likes the taste of your nuts.

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

"canilingus"

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

how much for the dog?

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

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how much for the dog?

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Hell, put him up on Ebay. You'll probably make a bundle.

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

Our family used to have a kennel, a quarantine, and a pet shop for years, and owned many dogs of our own as well. In the countless hundreds of dogs we saw come our way, we never saw this once.

Dog is definitely not "just another dog doing doggy stuff."

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

[ QUOTE ]
"no need for peanut butter"

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[censored] genius.

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"no need for peanut butter"

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[censored] genius.

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Yeah, this is awesome.

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

I was really disappointed with the NSFW tag, I was hoping for pics

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

Put this on his E-bay ad.

"His blow is harder than his bite"

P.S. At the very least make the E-bay ad to see how much he would actually go for.

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

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your nuts are usually a little more moist than any other part of your body.

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How the hell do you know so much about the moistness of heater's nuts?

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

Some of you are missing the part where the dog isn't anywhere near me but when I drop my pants he immediately runs over. This isn't just dog is lying next to me and goes, "Oh, those balls smell nice."

You can't sell pets on eBay but I could post him on Craigslist just to see what happens. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

And please call the humane society and post a transcript. Thanks.

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

All these replies and no one questions the fact that he tried to shower with his dog?

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

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One time I was still half asleep and without realizing what was going on, I repositioned myself and he started rimming me.

[/ QUOTE ]
Dude.... wut?

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

thread of the year

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

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thread of the year

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Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

Wow this such a hilarious thread.

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

next time you shower with him, don't drop the bar of soap.

what's the dog's name?

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

this is the funniest thread in months.

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

You are reinforcing the behavior. You need to eliminate it with negative reinforcement.

On the other hand, he would easily get you a grand from a lesbo.

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

Just marry the dog. That'll put a stop to it.

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/5015/boneposus3.jpg

This dog is being possessive of his bone. He's crouching down, giving "whale eye" (turning head away but turning the eyes towards his focus, so that the whites show), and his lips are pulled back. I would not reach for this bone or allow my dog to, either!

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

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One time I was still half asleep and without realizing what was going on, I repositioned myself and he started rimming me.

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between this line and the thread title... excellent job, OP.

Re: I think a prisoner trained my dog to give head (NSFW)
 

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OP definitely should get a custom title for this

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This is going to a epic thread. [img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]