help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with it
 

I met this guy a while back and became really good friends with him. I eventually became friends with his gf as well (they were already dating when I first met him). Through circumstances beyond my control, I ended up spending a decent chunk of time alone with the girl (obviously a mistake), and she confided some things in me, including problems she was having with her guy. At one point I thought there was a very good chance they would break up, and I realized I wanted to ask her out if they did so (I don't care that it's against the rules). They ended up staying together, but I was stuck with the knowledge that I liked her (I had somehow lied to myself about it until then).

I don't know why exactly, but I told the guy about my feelings (I'd like to believe it's because I'm a loyal friend, but I don't know if that's true). He then told the girl, despite my asking him not to. So now all three of us know, and it's super awkward. WTF do I do? Be a man and deal with it, remaining friends with both of them? Stay away from both of them and move on with my life? Still be friends with the guy but stay away from the girl?

Sorry, no pics because too many people who know us read 2+2 (but none of them know my nick).

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with it
 

SIIHP?

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

[ QUOTE ]
WTF do I do?

[/ QUOTE ]

Take it as a lesson. Don't tell people things you wish kept private. And don't set yourself up to get into it with your friends' girls.

FWIW, it's not unusual for women to confess relationship problems to guys, real or made up/exaggerated. It gets attention, with or without a bit of erotic spice involved. It might eventually be worked into a way to get their bf's attention, too, probably at a cost to you. There are all kinds of reasons to blab personal stuff like this, with or without sexual intent. This is not the last time you will see it. Deal with it better next time.

P.S.: How would you feel if you were the BF and some other guy was listening in about your private stuff, even if he wasn't the one soliciting the spilling of the beans? Would you feel he was very loyal or considerate or smart?

And THEN, how would you feel if he said he's got a thing for your girl after letting himself get into the goings-on in your private relationship. WTF. You handled this like a kid in junior high or something.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

You're making a run at it aren't you?

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

I belive the word you're looking for is ménage à trois

http://www.positivityblog.com/_images/george_small.jpg

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

Maybe he's the Johnny Chan of pussy. So patient ... just watch ... he's all in!

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

RQ,

Bravo.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

KKF

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

For him to tell her your feelings after you requested he didn't I have to say he isn't that good a friend. A good friend would have honored your request. Therefore I say end the friendship.

With regards to the girl you have to decide if you really want to pursue her or not. I would say let her go, but if you are madly in love then you obviously won't do that.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

[ QUOTE ]
I belive the word you're looking for is ménage à trois

http://www.positivityblog.com/_images/george_small.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

She's... INTO IT!

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

Get all three of you together and do a battle rap about how small his dick is.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

Shrug, laugh at yourselves, hug it out (no grab at boob, pls) and get on with your life's grand adventures.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

Hug it out, bitch

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

in the future, don't tell the boyfriend things that you don't want the gf to know and vice versa. no reason to go blabbing to them about your feelings. this is a situation where the old school philosophy of keeping it bottled up is correct, imo. go blab to some other people that have no connection to these two.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

Blarg,

I'm definitely learning a bunch of life lessons from this experience, and I freely admit that I acted very immaturely. The guy is a little pissed at me right now, and I agree it's completely justified. In the following situation though, what was I supposed to do?

A group of us were staying at a hotel, and the two of them had a huge fight, audible in my room. The guy left, and the girl came into my room crying (my roommate was gone). Was I supposed to turn her away? The other situations where she revealed things to me were similar; they fought more or less in front of me, then I was stuck alone with the girl.

Still though, there were many other aspects of this whole situation where I had a choice and made a bad one, so I would place the blame at like 90% me, 10% her, 0% him.


Mr. P,

Meh, I don't really blame him for telling her. This situation is probably hardest on him, and he did nothing to deserve it, so I'm willing to cut him some slack. Also, I'm at least ethical enough that I won't pursue her in any way while she is still with my friend.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

yeah, but if she comes in upset and then tries to go down on you, you're not passing that up. i mean, come on.

http://www.footnotetv.com/picftvsouthpark907.jpg

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

[ QUOTE ]
go blab to some other people that have no connection to these two.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
There are all kinds of reasons to blab personal stuff like this, with or without sexual intent. This is not the last time you will see it. Deal with it better next time.


[/ QUOTE ]

Basically, you need to come to OOT earlier next time and let us handle it.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

Seriously, having the hots for your friend's GF is fine. My two best friends' girlfriends turn me on (my friends are extremely similar in personality type so, wtf, it's gonna happen.)

Just don't act on it, be very careful when drunk (preptalk yourself ftw), and, for god's sake, DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

regarding these sorts of things i would say keep your mouth shut and suffer w/o complaint.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

[ QUOTE ]
Just don't act on it, be very careful when drunk (preptalk yourself ftw), and, for god's sake, DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm picturing Travolta in front of the mirror in Pulp Fiction here, saying something kind of like ... "You're not gonna do anything, you're just gonna have a little drink, talk a little, say goodnight, then go home, jerk off, and go to bed."

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Just don't act on it, be very careful when drunk (preptalk yourself ftw), and, for god's sake, DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm picturing Travolta in front of the mirror in Pulp Fiction here, saying something kind of like ... "You're not gonna do anything, you're just gonna have a little drink, talk a little, say goodnight, then go home, jerk off, and go to bed."

[/ QUOTE ]

lol exactly.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

What kind of clown tells his friend he's hot for his gf?

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

OP-- You're a moron for telling your friend about your feelings for his girl. What good does that do? You shouldve just continued to wait out the relationship while you beat off to pictures of her.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

FWIW, the reason I suck at dealing with all this is I have close to zero experience. I'm in my 20's, and in my whole life I've only kissed two girls. I slept with one of them, so thank God I'm not a virgin, but it has been quite a while. Maybe I'm gay?

Also, I didn't actually tell my friend voluntarily. He figured it out and asked me point blank "do you like her?" I told the truth, but I probably should have lied.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

[ QUOTE ]
You're making a run at it aren't you?

[/ QUOTE ]

You're batting 1.000 so far. Don't blow it, kid.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

Forget about her. If she was confiding in you about relationship problems with another guy, friend or not, then you're on the friends ladder and have no chance anyway

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

[ QUOTE ]
Blarg,

I'm definitely learning a bunch of life lessons from this experience, and I freely admit that I acted very immaturely. The guy is a little pissed at me right now, and I agree it's completely justified. In the following situation though, what was I supposed to do?

A group of us were staying at a hotel, and the two of them had a huge fight, audible in my room. The guy left, and the girl came into my room crying (my roommate was gone). Was I supposed to turn her away? The other situations where she revealed things to me were similar; they fought more or less in front of me, then I was stuck alone with the girl.

Still though, there were many other aspects of this whole situation where I had a choice and made a bad one, so I would place the blame at like 90% me, 10% her, 0% him.


Mr. P,

Meh, I don't really blame him for telling her. This situation is probably hardest on him, and he did nothing to deserve it, so I'm willing to cut him some slack. Also, I'm at least ethical enough that I won't pursue her in any way while she is still with my friend.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm curious if the situation was reverse and he told you he had feelings for your girlfriend but not to tell her would you honor his request? If you would tell her then I say be friends with him, but something tells me as a good friend you would have honored his request.

I also don't see the reason why he should be so pissed off. You haven't tried to sleep with her, you just acknowledged you have a crush on her. Time to get pissed would be if you try to get into her pants.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

[ QUOTE ]
Forget about her. If she was confiding in you about relationship problems with another guy, friend or not, then you're on the friends ladder and have no chance anyway

[/ QUOTE ]

This depends. Sometimes girls start confiding then ask a question like do you want to come over my place tonight? But I agree for the most part when girls start bitching about their relationships it means the friend zone.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

Mr. P,

I left out another important detail, which explains why I'm not mad at him. Not only did he suspect that I liked her, which is why he asked me, but he also thought that she liked me. As best I can figure, he asked her "do you like foobar?", and then what I told him came out in their ensuing conversation. I don't think he flat out told her for no reason. For reference, I never asked her if she liked me, nor would I while they were together.

[censored] I hate all this drama.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

[ QUOTE ]
FWIW, the reason I suck at dealing with all this is I have close to zero experience. I'm in my 20's, and in my whole life I've only kissed two girls. I slept with one of them, so thank God I'm not a virgin, but it has been quite a while. Maybe I'm gay?

Also, I didn't actually tell my friend voluntarily. He figured it out and asked me point blank "do you like her?" I told the truth, but I probably should have lied.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you poor bastards just like dying to confess these things?

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

Anac,

Yes, it actually felt really good to write it.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

[ QUOTE ]
FWIW, the reason I suck at dealing with all this is I have close to zero experience. I'm in my 20's, and in my whole life I've only kissed two girls. I slept with one of them, so thank God I'm not a virgin, but it has been quite a while. Maybe I'm gay?

[/ QUOTE ]

Have you ever looked at another dude's ass and thought to yourself, "I gotta get me some of that!"

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

sam,

I get along really well with men but am completely unattracted to them sexually. I am sexually attracted to women but, for the most part, do not get along with them at all. I suck at life. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

[ QUOTE ]
sam,

I get along really well with men but am completely unattracted to them sexually. I am sexually attracted to women but, for the most part, do not get along with them at all. I suck at life. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

OK, well it sounds like you don't have doubts about your sexuality. That is a good start.

Now, you just need to focus your attention on chicks who are actually available instead of your friend's GFs.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

Another good thread!

OP: It's time to leave them. It's over and ain't getting any better.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

I don't want to derail this thread into a "look how pathetic I am, help me get girls" thing. The main reason I pointed out my inexperience was to explain why I was being so stupid.

My main question right now is, given the current situation, is there any way to salvage the friendship(s)? The best advice so far has been "Hug it out, bitch".

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

Hard to answer without being there. Probably have to play it by ear and just stay mellow no matter the outcome. If his girl is all tense about it and doesn't want to mellow out, you're probably sunk for a while at least.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with it
 

[ QUOTE ]
I don't know why exactly, but I told the guy about my feelings (I'd like to believe it's because I'm a loyal friend, but I don't know if that's true). He then told the girl, despite my asking him not to. So now all three of us know, and it's super awkward. WTF do I do?

[/ QUOTE ]

1. Invent time machine
2. Travel back in time
3. Tell earlier self to STFU
4. Place large sports bets
5. Profit

Other than that, I'd say you're [censored].

WTF were you thinking? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

[ QUOTE ]
I don't want to derail this thread into a "look how pathetic I am, help me get girls" thing. The main reason I pointed out my inexperience was to explain why I was being so stupid.

My main question right now is, given the current situation, is there any way to salvage the friendship(s)? The best advice so far has been "Hug it out, bitch".

[/ QUOTE ]

I would steer away from them for awhile. Let the initial awkwardness die out and then try to hang out in the future. I would avoid hanging out with her alone, and just hang with him for awhile.

Re: help me OOT: I like my friend\'s gf and don\'t know how to deal with
 

make a joke about it. be sure to tell her how hot she is and flirt it up. dont be a creep about it.

also, stfu and dont open your mouth about that [censored]. sometimes we cant control who we like, but we can control our mouths. unless your me. and/or there is booze involved. and even then i only open my mouth about people i dont like. not people i like.