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-   -   BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR (http://archives1.twoplustwo.com/showthread.php?t=410898)

Butcho22 05-24-2007 01:09 PM

BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
Beat: It's painfully obvious she wants something serious [img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

I moved in with two chicks because my old roomate is lame and wanted to move in with his girlfriend.
One is a fatty, one is smokin.

I had her pegged as being ~27....turns out she's 33 [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]
Oh well, no big deal...not like I'm trying to marry this chick.

So I start off by feeling her out with a few text messages here and there. We start flirting pretty hardcore within ~2 days of me living there. She suggests IM, as it would be easier to communicate while at work that way.

So I download IM, and off we go. The flirting steadily picks up. We both admit we're really attracted to each other, but it's proll not best to go there cuz we're roomates...plus how would the fatty feel about it, blah blah.

Tuesday night she calls me after work and asks if I want to meet her for a drink. I ask her to pick me up cuz i've already had a few, she does. We head to a bar near our place, and proceed to get smashed.

When we get home she goes downstairs for what I can only assume is a routine clothes change. I was right. She comes back up and pretty much attacks me in the kitchen. We make out for a minute, then take it to my bedroom.

At this point I know she's got to be pretty wasted cuz she drops right down to her knees without skipping a beat [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

I sex her up multiple times...stopping every so often cuz "it kind of hurts"..no problem I tell her, it's no fun for me if you're in pain. (she hasn't been sexed up in ~10 months) But she would take a minute or two, then decide it's time for some more.

I go have a smoke when we're done and when I return, she is officially passed out. Cool, I can sleep without having to cuddle up. She wakes up around 3am, and seems curious as to how she ended up naked in her new roomates bed...she gathers up her clothes, and heads down to her room.

She calls me the next morning and is clueless as to what happened the night before, lol. I tell her, "what you prolly think happened, did happen." "We made out?", she says. "No, we had sex." She's all embarrased and can't believe she would do that sort of thing, blah blah. She keeps apologizing for some reason...I tell her it's cool, don't worry about it.

So last night we're hanging out on the couch and she wants to know every last detail of what went down. I tell her, have a couple beers...and once the fatty gets home I announce I'm going to bed. That was ~10pm.

My cell phone rings about an hour later, and wouldn't you know it, my roomate wants to come "have cuddle time for 20 minutes" ughhh...

So she comes into my room. We're talking and she tells me that she just got done talking to the fatty about our little situation. She didn't tell her we had sex, and that she doesn't remember it...just tells her that we're sort of into each other, and asked her how she feels about that.

The fatty, is not happy.

Obviously didn't stop her from coming into my room, meh. Within 20 minutes or so, we're making out pretty hardcore, she's on top, grinding away. She says she's curious to find out what the previous night was all about, and I'm happy to hook her up [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img].

Now combined with the previous nights activities...the massive hangover I dealt with all day...the fact that I worked 11 hours...and the fact that I just busted a nut, I'm ready for a smoke and some shuteye.

"You have any condoms?", she asks. Say what? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] I tell her I don't...she says "oh well, i guess we've already did it a few times without, what's once or twice more?"
I'm thinking, "jesus i'm tired, i just want to have a smoke and call it a night. I've busted on this chicks stomach 3 times in the past 24 hours, I didn't get much sleep last night, time for bed."

This chick is not giving up easily. She heads down south again, and convinces me to give it another go. I finish up that session...AND SHE STILL WANTS TO KEEP SEXING!!! Talking all dirty about how she wants me to come serve her up on her lunch break tomorrow, just horny as hell. She tells me, "don't make me go use my vibrator, it's not the same."

At this point, there is no way in hell I'm going for round 3. So I have to start getting stern with her, "Im going to bed, and there is nothing you can say/do to change my mind." She finally realizes it aint happening...collects her clothes, and kisses me good night.

Woke up today and I've already missed a call from her, and she's sent me two txt messages [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

I just wanted to sex her up real good, but it appears I may be in over my head.

I'm not really asking advice as these things seem to work themselves out, but feel free to shoot some ideas out there.

I would love to keep up the sex, but I absolutely despise the idea of dating my roomate seriously. I refuse to do it.

Additional Brag: She just got a prescription for hydrocodone, and she gonna ship ~10 my way.

Beat: I share a shower with the fatty (They told me I could choose whatever shower I wanted, and to act like I wasn't interested in the hottie, I decided to go with the fatty)


Cliff notes: Moved in with 2 chicks, 1 fatty/ 1 hottie...sexed up the hottie &gt;2 weeks after moving in, and it appears she is dead set on making it something serious despite being 9 years my senior.

goofyballer 05-24-2007 01:12 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
Pics of hot one?

FilthyLarry 05-24-2007 01:13 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
pics of fatty?

EricW 05-24-2007 01:14 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
I think she is crazy and you're gonna run into problems very soon. Enjoy!

Nemesis69 05-24-2007 01:15 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
[ QUOTE ]
Pics of hot one?

[/ QUOTE ]

Butcho22 05-24-2007 01:16 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
lol, knew that was coming.

I may not want a relationship with her, but I'm not dick enough to put her pic up on a message board.

4_2_it 05-24-2007 01:16 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
Hope you don't have a pet rabbit.

Skoob 05-24-2007 01:17 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
3way with the hottie and the fattie. Gotta be done, with trip report, and pics.

C'mon, take one for the B4L team.

xxThe_Lebowskixx 05-24-2007 01:18 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
i thought people only had sex 3 times in one night on television sitcoms. unless a astroid is about to hit earth or you are about to go on a very long trip, it doesnt make much sense to me, but thanks for the story and she sounds [censored] crazy and stalkerish.

xxThe_Lebowskixx 05-24-2007 01:20 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
its hard to imagine a hot chick going 10 months. i hope she is really hot and not jsut hot by the OP's standards.

pookvis 05-24-2007 01:20 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
http://www.theprimeone.com/images/pisces.jpg

Florida 05-24-2007 01:21 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
ericw would say that

Nemesis69 05-24-2007 01:21 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
Did you SIIHP?

EricW 05-24-2007 01:23 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
OP,

Pull the old "switcheroo" on her by proposing marriage. That will stop her cold her in tracks.

Butcho22 05-24-2007 01:23 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
Lebowski,

2 times the first night, 2 times the second night.

She works two jobs, 7 days a week so I would imagine that is the main reason she hasn't been sexed up for awhile.

Butcho22 05-24-2007 01:24 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
[ QUOTE ]
Did you SIIHP?

[/ QUOTE ]

no

4_2_it 05-24-2007 01:24 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
[ QUOTE ]
OP,

Pull the old "switcheroo" on her by purposing marriage. That will stop her cold her in tracks.

[/ QUOTE ]

Or result in a Vegas wedding officiated by Elvis.

Banditgberg 05-24-2007 01:26 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
what is like....http://img524.imageshack.us/img524/6...ckhump3kw1.gif

and she didn't remember? you may wanna lay low for awhile...

Georgia Avenue 05-24-2007 01:27 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
Don't sh-t where you eat OP. Also haha at kkf. I bet you have sex like 9 times a day dont you?

Butcho22 05-24-2007 01:28 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
Doesn't remember Tuesday night, def remembers last night. Not sure why I'd wanna lay low cuz of that.

Butcho22 05-24-2007 01:30 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
[ QUOTE ]
Don't sh-t where you eat OP. Also haha at kkf. I bet you have sex like 9 times a day dont you?

[/ QUOTE ]

If you're asking me, no I don't have sex 9 times a day. I was on a ~2 months dry spell though, so had to make up that somewhat.

I wasn't trying to brag by saying we did it more than once each night.

Heavens_Myst 05-24-2007 01:31 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
post a pic of a celebrity that closely resembles villian pls







edit- to clarify, villian is the fatty.

Butcho22 05-24-2007 01:35 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
will do...

here is recent IM convo from a second ago...

Luke says:
SO TIRED!!!
-deleted- says:
Me too!!! I'm sorry!
Luke says:
lol, don't be sorry
-deleted- says:
I felt bad i kept you up so late
Luke says:
so you excited about seeing your mom tonight?
-deleted- says:
yes and no.. i just want to sleep
Luke says:
lol
-deleted- says:
i have so much to do today
-deleted- says:
work then supposed to meet up with a friend for dinner then run 3 or 4 errands and go see mom
-deleted- says:
i want to pass out!

Kevroc 05-24-2007 01:35 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
If this was 6 or 7 years ago I'd help you out with your fattie situation but, as played..

move out.. this wont get better.

TIEdup14 05-24-2007 01:36 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
[ QUOTE ]
I think she is crazy and you're gonna run into problems very soon. Enjoy!

[/ QUOTE ]

http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/6...dikshityg5.jpg

Butcho22 05-24-2007 01:37 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
okay...i deleted her name from the im convos but missed one and had to edit...i swear to god if somebody saw the name, plz don't be a dick and post it.

Gildwulf 05-24-2007 01:40 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
[ QUOTE ]
3way with the hottie and the fattie. Gotta be done, with trip report, and pics.

C'mon, take one for the B4L team.

[/ QUOTE ]

Butcho22 05-24-2007 01:43 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
[ QUOTE ]
post a pic of a celebrity that closely resembles villian pls

searched for a minute, didn't find much...too lazy to continue

she's fat and short (although her face isn't like repulsive or anything), not much else to say about her






edit- to clarify, villian is the fatty.

[/ QUOTE ]

sethypooh21 05-24-2007 01:43 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
"TL;Dr"

Absolutely not, A+++ would read again, esp. w/pics

Don't be a hero, pace yourself son.

onthebutton 05-24-2007 01:46 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
No pics no bueno

Triumph36 05-24-2007 01:46 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
work themselves out?

yeah this one will work itself out. sounds like a huge brag about to turn into some sort of beat.

delaware99 05-24-2007 01:46 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
one way to get her off your back is to bang the fattie.


chew on that for a while.

J.C. Gloves 05-24-2007 01:52 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
F-buddy adventures and booty call exploits never last in close proximity.

Glad you had a BLAST tho, [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

StarkNaked 05-24-2007 01:59 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
just post the darned pics hychayahcya

Kevroc 05-24-2007 02:01 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
she sounds like a freak BUT

you dropped 3 loads on her stomach?

wasted splooge, man.

you had much better options, IMO.

teddyFBI 05-24-2007 02:02 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
this story is a thinly-disguised BEAT.
If you don't know why, you will soon.

NeedATimeMachine 05-24-2007 02:06 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
beat: worn out after 3 rounds

bmwguy525 05-24-2007 02:08 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
[ QUOTE ]
beat: worn out after 3 rounds

[/ QUOTE ]
wtf are you talking about idiot

Butcho22 05-24-2007 02:14 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
beat: worn out after 3 rounds

[/ QUOTE ]
wtf are you talking about idiot

[/ QUOTE ]

findingneema 05-24-2007 02:14 PM

Re: BRAG: Sexed up my new roomate <2 weeks after moving in...TL:DR
 
[ QUOTE ]
beat: worn out after 3 rounds

[/ QUOTE ]

beat: you watch too much pr0n


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