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-   -   beat: fat roommate's fat girlfriend yells at me (http://archives1.twoplustwo.com/showthread.php?t=382194)

evazan 04-18-2007 05:46 PM

beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
This is part 2 in the saga of my life with a fat roommate who has a fat girl friend. Here's part 1 if you missed it.
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showfl...part=1&vc=1

Anyone who knows anything about fat people knows that they snore. My fat roommate is no exception. I envy people who live next to train tracks because the noise they have to deal with is infinitely more bearable then what I have to live with every night. It isn't even a normal snore. It is constantly changing pitch and length and volume. It will go from just loud breathing to a low roar to sounding like someone is playing Jurassic park in my room with the volume turned all the way up.

Now for some unimaginable reason the fat girl isn't bothered by this noise at all. He sleeps flat on his back with his arms sprawled over his head and his mouth wide open with disgusting noises coming out of it while girl lies there on her side cuddling him. It is the most disgusting site you could ever imagine.

So last night this happens. I wake up in the middle of the night due to his snoring. This happens about 3-5 times every night. The only way I can possible get back to sleep is to get the snoring to cease for a couple of minutes. To do this I keep a giant wooden spoon next to my bed to hit him with. Now what happened last night is that when I went to hit him with the spoon I hit the girl instead. He didn't stop snoring so I did it two more times. The fourth time girl yells out "would you cut the [censored]."

Now I was infuriated. Here I am in my own room, I can't fall asleep, and some fat girl is talking crap to me. I managed to control my anger and not say anything to her right there. If I wasn't able to control my anger so well blood would have been spilled that night.
http://aycu04.webshots.com/image/156...6519230_rs.jpg

So now today I have to confront this problem because I would feel like too much of a wimp if I didn't. Some fat girl is going to come into MY room and took [censored] to ME. I go up to them and tell her that no guest in my room is going to talk to me like that. She's only allowed in my room because I let it happen because I don't want to be a jerk to my roommate. She refuses to apologize and I leave the room still angry and not satisfied.

So BBV, what is my play. I saw her shampoo bottle and figured I could blow a load in there. That would get her back and avoid any direct confrontation with my roommate whom I have to live with for the rest of the year. I could be a bitch and have the RA kick her out since she has no right being here but that would certainly cause problems with my roommate. Any other suggestions? I need to get her back so I can still feel like a man but I want to avoid direct confrontation with roommate.

jose_marti 04-18-2007 05:48 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
Shampoo FTW

Chump Change 04-18-2007 05:48 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
numero uno

edit: asdlkfjasldk;fjsdkl jf jose

Triumph36 04-18-2007 05:51 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
wtf

'i need to feel like a man... but i want to avoid direct confrontation'

yeah gl with that

anyway another great tr - may you always have a fat roommate with a fat girlfriend, it entertains me much more than your happiness would

Chump Change 04-18-2007 06:06 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r...igga/FAT-1.jpg

Lurker. 04-18-2007 06:10 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
you're in the same room as your roommate?

TyFuji 04-18-2007 06:10 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
haha jizz in shampoo sounds like a winner

Grasshopp3r 04-18-2007 06:12 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
Fattie eiffel tower action. Afterwards, she could make you a pie.

bmwguy525 04-18-2007 06:13 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
[ QUOTE ]
Fattie eiffel tower action. Afterwards, she could make you a pie and eat it before you get a chance to even see it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Cheshire 04-18-2007 06:14 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
Let me get this right, you are mad because your roomate's girlfriend yelled at you for hitting her with a big wooden spoon while she was trying to sleep? How dare her.

Did you explain that you ment to hit him with the spoon and you are sorry you hit her on accident? This seems like it couldn't hurt. Also, if you ever think you might want to have a girl over I wouldn't go to war over this.

ncboiler 04-18-2007 06:17 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
Jizzying in the shampoo is the pussy way out and maybe your passive aggressive personality is why you are in this situation. Confront her and him and tell them what you think. Or be a pussy and blow a load in the shampoo.

jl3969 04-18-2007 06:18 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
Nair in shampoo.

fat people are horrible.

schundler 04-18-2007 06:24 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
These are awesome. Keep them coming pls.

RunyonAve 04-18-2007 06:26 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/asse...513047804P.JPG

i lol'd

dallas14 04-18-2007 06:26 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
how fat are we talking?
<-- that fat?

Gone Forever 04-18-2007 06:27 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
If you want to feel more like a man, maybe you should stop acting like a little bitch.

You hit her with a spoon while she was sleeping. 4 TIMES! What the [censored] do you think? Like she's not going to tell you to stop hitting her with a spoon while she sleeps?

Idiot.

The room is a dorm of which you share with a room mate who is another student? If this is the case then this is not even "your room" really. It's half yours. The other half "belongs" to your roommate who had a guest over. Who you assaulted in her sleep.

Now, from what I can tell you have no case here what so ever. Not only that, it looks like you are the one that should have some revenge acted on.

Maybe he should jerk it in your shampoo? Better yet, maybe he should hit your guest with something while they sleep... but, that's probably not going to happen being that you act so much like a girl that you'll probably not ever have a girl in bed with you. Oh! I know, maybe you could trick a big butch lesbian into coming home with you. From the sound of things you'd probably make a great high-maintnance-lipstick-lesbian impersonator.

In closing I'd just like to mention how fortunate you are that your fat roommate doesn't smother you for hitting him in the middle of the night. I would have made you eat that spoon already.

Buy some earplugs or some sleeping pills. NyQuil works great. You could ask to be transfered to a new room as well. Your roommate can't control his snoring but you can control how much of a whiney crying vag you are.

How you can even think you're in the right on this one is mind-bottling.

bmwguy525 04-18-2007 06:31 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
omfg what is wrong with you people. This fat chick that doesn't even live there is going off on him, and should've been hit with a spoon in the first place, whether she was snoring or not.

Obv sperm in the shampoo and laugh every time you look at her afterwards.

SNOWBALL 04-18-2007 06:32 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
OP,

1. pretend like you have a sleeping disorder
2. Sleepwalk over to them
3. Urinate mightily

If you're too puss to do this, hire a busto 2p2er to pose as your friend and do it. What's your loc?

SNOWBALL 04-18-2007 06:34 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
Gone forever,

plz fulfill your namesake. We're all waiting. thx

thebigyak 04-18-2007 06:35 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
[ QUOTE ]
mind-bottling.

[/ QUOTE ]

[img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

http://img184.imageshack.us/img184/9639/51846407tq6.png

http://www.vocabula.com/VRworstwords.htm

Triptanes 04-18-2007 06:38 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
mind-bottling.

[/ QUOTE ]

[img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

http://img184.imageshack.us/img184/9639/51846407tq6.png

http://www.vocabula.com/VRworstwords.htm

[/ QUOTE ]

http://www.canmag.com/images/front/m...72/blades8.jpg

Lurker. 04-18-2007 06:41 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
ban goneforever. blow your load in her shampoo

Gone Forever 04-18-2007 06:42 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
[ QUOTE ]
omfg what is wrong with you people. This fat chick that doesn't even live there is going off on him, and should've been hit with a spoon in the first place, whether she was snoring or not.

Obv sperm in the shampoo and laugh every time you look at her afterwards.

[/ QUOTE ]

Not that I'd be laying in bed with a fat chick, BUT, I woulda had to fight OP if I were the roommate getting hit with a spoon. End of discussion. You wake me up by hitting me with a spoon, you get punched in and around your eyes and mouth.

Beemer, what if you woke up in the middle of the night and he was slapping your beef burrito supreme with a wooden spoon?? Violence is the only answer. Obv.

Triptanes 04-18-2007 06:43 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
[ QUOTE ]
how fat are we talking?
<-- that fat?

[/ QUOTE ]


http://i.realone.com/assets/rn/img/2...9225-large.jpg

Big fat guy, I mean, like, orca fat.

evazan 04-18-2007 06:44 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
[ QUOTE ]
If you want to feel more like a man, maybe you should stop acting like a little bitch.

You hit her with a spoon while she was sleeping. 4 TIMES! What the [censored] do you think? Like she's not going to tell you to stop hitting her with a spoon while she sleeps?

Idiot.

The room is a dorm of which you share with a room mate who is another student? If this is the case then this is not even "your room" really. It's half yours. The other half "belongs" to your roommate who had a guest over. Who you assaulted in her sleep.

Now, from what I can tell you have no case here what so ever. Not only that, it looks like you are the one that should have some revenge acted on.

Maybe he should jerk it in your shampoo? Better yet, maybe he should hit your guest with something while they sleep... but, that's probably not going to happen being that you act so much like a girl that you'll probably not ever have a girl in bed with you. Oh! I know, maybe you could trick a big butch lesbian into coming home with you. From the sound of things you'd probably make a great high-maintnance-lipstick-lesbian impersonator.

In closing I'd just like to mention how fortunate you are that your fat roommate doesn't smother you for hitting him in the middle of the night. I would have made you eat that spoon already.

Buy some earplugs or some sleeping pills. NyQuil works great. You could ask to be transfered to a new room as well. Your roommate can't control his snoring but you can control how much of a whiney crying vag you are.

How you can even think you're in the right on this one is mind-bottling.

[/ QUOTE ]

By any chance, are you a fatty that snores?

Gone Forever 04-18-2007 06:44 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
[ QUOTE ]
ban goneforever. blow your load in her shampoo

[/ QUOTE ]

ban your face. You could blow your load in her shampoo, but, you don't need a reason for that.

Gone Forever 04-18-2007 06:45 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
mind-bottling.

[/ QUOTE ]

[img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

http://img184.imageshack.us/img184/9639/51846407tq6.png

http://www.vocabula.com/VRworstwords.htm

[/ QUOTE ]

http://www.canmag.com/images/front/m...72/blades8.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm glad at least somebody got it.

Gone Forever 04-18-2007 06:47 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
[ QUOTE ]
Gone forever,

plz fulfill your namesake. We're all waiting. thx

[/ QUOTE ]

lol. right after you fulfill yours.

bmwguy525 04-18-2007 06:48 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
[ QUOTE ]
Beemer, what if you woke up in the middle of the night and he was slapping your beef burrito supreme with a wooden spoon??

[/ QUOTE ]
lol obv I would eat that shtt before he could hurt it too badly.

Luckily, I don't/can't/won't eat fat chicks, and I would enjoy watching one get hit repeatedly with any wooden kitchen utensil. If she opened her mouth to me, I would've done the same thing as OP to avoid confrontation with the roommate. And although I'm opposed to messing with people's belongings, she needs to get put rightfully in her place. Semen is the key.

vhawk01 04-18-2007 06:51 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
mind-bottling.

[/ QUOTE ]

[img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

http://img184.imageshack.us/img184/9639/51846407tq6.png

http://www.vocabula.com/VRworstwords.htm

[/ QUOTE ]

Its when your thoughts get all confused like they are trapped in a bottle.

Softball King 04-18-2007 06:52 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
Softball bat sodomy. Fat chicks need love too.

bmwguy525 04-18-2007 06:53 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
[ QUOTE ]
Fat chicks need love too.

[/ QUOTE ]
They just have to pay for it.

Gone Forever 04-18-2007 06:54 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
[ QUOTE ]

Luckily, I don't/can't/won't eat fat chicks, and I would enjoy watching one get hit repeatedly with any wooden kitchen utensil.

[/ QUOTE ]

Snorkel is the key. Oh, and a bucket to puke into.

SNOWBALL 04-18-2007 06:57 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
[ QUOTE ]


[ QUOTE ]
Gone forever,

plz fulfill your namesake. We're all waiting. thx


[/ QUOTE ]

lol. right after you fulfill yours.


[/ QUOTE ]

promise?

Gone Forever 04-18-2007 06:59 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


[ QUOTE ]
Gone forever,

plz fulfill your namesake. We're all waiting. thx


[/ QUOTE ]

lol. right after you fulfill yours.


[/ QUOTE ]

promise?

[/ QUOTE ]

uhmm... ewwwww.

Stoneflip 04-18-2007 07:06 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
[ QUOTE ]
How you can even think you're in the right on this one is mind-bottling.

[/ QUOTE ]


He's right by posting funny stories that entertain us!

Hank Scorpio 04-18-2007 07:06 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
[ QUOTE ]
If you want to feel more like a man, maybe you should stop acting like a little bitch.

You hit her with a spoon while she was sleeping. 4 TIMES! What the [censored] do you think? Like she's not going to tell you to stop hitting her with a spoon while she sleeps?

Idiot.

The room is a dorm of which you share with a room mate who is another student? If this is the case then this is not even "your room" really. It's half yours. The other half "belongs" to your roommate who had a guest over. Who you assaulted in her sleep.

Now, from what I can tell you have no case here what so ever. Not only that, it looks like you are the one that should have some revenge acted on.

Maybe he should jerk it in your shampoo? Better yet, maybe he should hit your guest with something while they sleep... but, that's probably not going to happen being that you act so much like a girl that you'll probably not ever have a girl in bed with you. Oh! I know, maybe you could trick a big butch lesbian into coming home with you. From the sound of things you'd probably make a great high-maintnance-lipstick-lesbian impersonator.

In closing I'd just like to mention how fortunate you are that your fat roommate doesn't smother you for hitting him in the middle of the night. I would have made you eat that spoon already.

Buy some earplugs or some sleeping pills. NyQuil works great. You could ask to be transfered to a new room as well. Your roommate can't control his snoring but you can control how much of a whiney crying vag you are.

How you can even think you're in the right on this one is mind-bottling.

[/ QUOTE ]

Odds of this guy being fat?

qdmcg 04-18-2007 07:16 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If you want to feel more like a man, maybe you should stop acting like a little bitch.

You hit her with a spoon while she was sleeping. 4 TIMES! What the [censored] do you think? Like she's not going to tell you to stop hitting her with a spoon while she sleeps?

Idiot.

The room is a dorm of which you share with a room mate who is another student? If this is the case then this is not even "your room" really. It's half yours. The other half "belongs" to your roommate who had a guest over. Who you assaulted in her sleep.

Now, from what I can tell you have no case here what so ever. Not only that, it looks like you are the one that should have some revenge acted on.

Maybe he should jerk it in your shampoo? Better yet, maybe he should hit your guest with something while they sleep... but, that's probably not going to happen being that you act so much like a girl that you'll probably not ever have a girl in bed with you. Oh! I know, maybe you could trick a big butch lesbian into coming home with you. From the sound of things you'd probably make a great high-maintnance-lipstick-lesbian impersonator.

In closing I'd just like to mention how fortunate you are that your fat roommate doesn't smother you for hitting him in the middle of the night. I would have made you eat that spoon already.

Buy some earplugs or some sleeping pills. NyQuil works great. You could ask to be transfered to a new room as well. Your roommate can't control his snoring but you can control how much of a whiney crying vag you are.

How you can even think you're in the right on this one is mind-bottling.

[/ QUOTE ]

Odds of this guy being fat?

[/ QUOTE ]

50% (he either is or he isn't)

o wait 100% hes fat

Jiggymike 04-18-2007 07:24 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
Give fatty a sausage to nibble on while he sleeps.

DeezNuts 04-18-2007 07:26 PM

Re: beat: fat roommate\'s fat girlfriend yells at me
 
[ QUOTE ]
http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r...igga/FAT-1.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

Cmon, this is awesome.


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